1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,200 Is he under the bed? Where did he go? 4 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,593 came with that choice. 5 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,856 - You need to get out from under the bed. - Hmm. 6 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,946 Come on. We're gonna start your routine. 7 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,079 I don't even care if you brushed your teeth this morning. 8 00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:41,128 Listen, mommy has her Tuesday meeting, 9 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:44,348 which means you've got to get up because I've got to get to work. 10 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,524 Okay, I don't have time to play. 11 00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,396 Nick's not going to cooperate games. 12 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:52,356 Nicholas, this isn't funny anymore. 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,270 All right? 14 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:55,316 You need to come out. 15 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,406 What's the matter, babe? 16 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,453 - I can't do. - Listen. Come here. Come here. 17 00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,064 Can you at least come here and talk to me? 18 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,717 - I'm not the enemy. - Nope. 19 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:10,418 I constantly feel like I'm barely holding my life together. 20 00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,073 It's really frustrating me right now what's going on. 21 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,772 And I really need you to get up. 22 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,427 Nick, come on. 23 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,343 Nick just started the third grade. 24 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:26,303 He got diagnosed with ADHD in January. 25 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,089 Nick, come on. 26 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:32,309 Getting ready for school is totally impossible 27 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,833 because he's just rolling around on the floor 28 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:38,315 and decided that he doesn't want to listen to me. 29 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:41,492 What... what can I do? What can I do to make this easier? 30 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,277 We need to get to school. 31 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,932 It's like hyperactive and stubborn, and defiant. 32 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,499 Totally defiant. 33 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,327 We have got to get out of here by like 8:15. 34 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,505 I mean, nobody tells you how to parent to begin with. 35 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:57,291 And then they don't tell you how to parent a kid 36 00:01:57,334 --> 00:02:01,121 that has any kind of need that's outside of the norm. 37 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,388 I felt like I'm constantly yelling at him. 38 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:11,261 - Oh, jeez, guys, it's 7:45. 39 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:12,784 7:45? 40 00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:17,833 Um, so, I'm gonna just make some coffee, 41 00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:21,315 and go get myself dressed, and we're gonna need to get out of the door. 42 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:24,622 We had three meetings with his teachers in, like, the first two weeks. 43 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:28,191 I had multiple emails because he was acting out 44 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,062 and he was not following directions. 45 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,542 - Got it, Nick? - Mm-hmm. 46 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,066 So, looks like you need to brush your hair. 47 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,286 His teacher is clearly frustrated. 48 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,854 He must be getting reprimanded constantly. 49 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,899 ...on there. Over there. 50 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,337 And he'd come home saying he hated school and he was stupid. 51 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,861 It's heartbreaking. 52 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:50,561 Ignition, three, two, one! 53 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:59,048 In two months, 54 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:02,530 Scott Kelly will begin a year-long stay in space. 55 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:06,055 - So, good luck, Captain. We're proud of you. 56 00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:09,406 I remember in the second grade my mother took me to my grandmother's 57 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:12,104 to help me learn how to read. 58 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:14,281 I remember after the second session, 59 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,065 my grandmother saying to my mom... 60 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,677 ..."You know, this kid is stupid. 61 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,289 "And he will never learn how to read. 62 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,378 "And I'm not doing this anymore." 63 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,821 Oh, you know, we had six nominations and we won three already. 64 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,171 Um, we lost one of them. There's two more to go. 65 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,260 I can't wait to perform. 66 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,219 There was a couple of teachers that were like, 67 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,960 "You need to focus better. You're always dazing off." 68 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:45,747 Because I had like A's and C's and B's 69 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:49,403 but I had a lot of U's because of my hyperactivity. 70 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,150 Fitness guru, Jillian Michaels. Jillian, great to have you here. 71 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:05,288 My whole life I just thought, "Oh, well, I can't learn it. Or I'm no good at it." 72 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,943 I mean, I must have been in summer school 73 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:11,338 every single year from 12 to 18. 74 00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:15,472 "Is she just stupid?" "Is she not trying hard enough?" 75 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,779 "Is she not applying herself?" 76 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,306 I got to the airport a little bit late, 77 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,134 and I thought I was going to miss the plane, right? 78 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,005 So, I was trying to catch it. 79 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,878 But that's so hard because those things go, like, 600 miles an hour. 80 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,969 I never went to a therapist. Nobody ever talked about it. 81 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:37,407 I was just as quirky, out of control kid 82 00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:40,932 with, uh, very few friends and social skills. 83 00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,586 But now I know why. 84 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,507 When's the last time you saw the head of an airline 85 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,117 show up on one of his flights 86 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:53,902 and not only talk to his passengers, 87 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,643 but treat them like people? 88 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,645 Do you like to have a chocolate chip cookie? 89 00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:02,563 When I took the ACT, I got so low on the English portion 90 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,042 that my counselor said, 91 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:06,044 "Had you just answered C on every question, 92 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,350 "you would have scored higher." 93 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:17,491 Carter saved her best till last. 94 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,754 There is a new queen of the shot put. 95 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,322 You're slow. You're stupid. You're lazy. 96 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,846 How come you just can't get it? I showed you ten times. 97 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,500 What's wrong with you? 98 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,682 You see a whole display of your own shoes. 99 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:35,987 Are you used to that already? 100 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,424 No, I'm not... I'm not used to it. 101 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:38,990 - So, how do you feel? - It feels great. 102 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,818 Because you're falling behind in class 103 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:45,170 your self-esteem goes down because you think you're dumb. 104 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,742 - Let's go, Joe? - What's wrong with me? 105 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,223 Why can't I focus? Why can't I learn? 106 00:05:54,266 --> 00:06:01,056 The word that kept coming out from this, as I look back, was he's a hyper boy. 107 00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:11,327 It just grinds you down into thinking you're stupid. 108 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,198 I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. 109 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,897 Can't sit still, disorganized, 110 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,420 - can't focus, lazy, stupid... - Annoying, disorganized... 111 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,943 - Complacent. - Crazy. 112 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,467 - You can't make it. - You never listen. 113 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,382 - You don't clean your room. - Disorganized. 114 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:36,700 It's a super skill set. 115 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,311 And fuck what people think. 116 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,722 You know, by cleaning that up that means 117 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,942 - putting too much pressure. - No. 118 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,379 - I emptied the dishwasher. It's all clean. - Dad already did the first part. 119 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,816 - You're gonna put that in the dishwasher. - All of it? 120 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,384 - Yes. It's so good. - Even this... - Yeah. No. All of it. 121 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,951 Yeah. 122 00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:11,692 It's all nice and empty for you, ready to go. 123 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,563 It's all nice and empty. Thanks, Dad. 124 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,826 You're welcome. I do what I can. 125 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,441 When we were getting in the process of adoption, 126 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,791 like, I hoped for a little boy, like, Hogan. 127 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:28,491 I didn't know it would be so hard to raise a Hogan. 128 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,319 - I know I could have... - Can I just? 129 00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:31,755 No, you can get it. All right. 130 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,496 I'm just gonna get this little bit out. 131 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,280 Okay. Well, then why don't you just do the dishes? 132 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,108 No, I don't want to do the dishes. 133 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,371 I... No, you're welcome to do. I really... I'm really fine with it. 134 00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,767 - Really. - I just want you to do them correctly. 135 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,380 When we used to take him hiking it used to drive Troy crazy 136 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:49,991 because we would hike together 137 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,080 and just, like, we're going from here to here. 138 00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,951 We're going to hike to see this waterfall. 139 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,910 But with Hogan, it was like we're gonna stop 140 00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,129 and look at every single leaf on the ground. 141 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:01,524 Or here's a little pile of things that I've got to play in for a while. 142 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,792 Whoo! 143 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:12,709 I think first grade was the first time a teacher ever mentioned ADHD. 144 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:19,586 I'm sure I was super offended at the time 145 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,719 because I just was not... 146 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,678 Really wasn't on my radar at that time 147 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:28,116 like, he was very energetic but he's also so fun. 148 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:36,385 I definitely think that it comes easier to other people. 149 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:39,954 Or to maybe comes easier to other people 150 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:43,131 to, like, stop and think before they do something. 151 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:47,222 It feels, like, I'm always, like, changing... 152 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,920 In my mind, I'm always changing subjects. 153 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,401 And it's almost like spinning in my head. 154 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,150 It really did start to affect everything, his grades. 155 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,891 We were noticing it at home. 156 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,849 It was affecting his friendships. 157 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,677 He just was struggling. 158 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:12,029 This week's been really hard week for me. 159 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,509 I almost got out of test. 160 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,467 I got in an argument with my teacher. 161 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:18,427 I got almost in an argument with the assistant principal. 162 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,777 Uh... It's been really tough. 163 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,041 - Hogan? - Yeah. 164 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,739 - It's time to go. - Okay. 165 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:30,700 It makes me emotional just in terms of... 166 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:33,660 It helps explain some things. 167 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:37,925 It doesn't change anything about how he's gonna have to navigate in this world. 168 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,582 We got to go. 169 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:57,248 It's fascinating, but when I started to research my book, 170 00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:02,776 I was stunned to see that ADHD was the number one most searched term on the internet. 171 00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,605 And, I mean, who would have figured that. 172 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:09,086 I mean, I'm thinking you got to be kidding, right? 173 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,044 Where did that come from? 174 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:19,009 Probably the easiest way to understand ADHD 175 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,011 is to look at what it stands for. 176 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:25,755 Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 177 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:30,107 So, you have a deficit in attention and hyperactivity. 178 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,851 Oh, God, the name is awful, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 179 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,374 It's a terrible name. 180 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:37,985 You got a deficit. You've got a disorder. 181 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:41,205 Man, you are... You're sick, you got problems. 182 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:45,775 The very name trivializes the nature of the disorder 183 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:50,301 by selecting one of its most superficial symptoms 184 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:52,303 as the name for the disorder. 185 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:56,525 I think that the public believes that ADHD is a made-up disorder 186 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,875 for people who are lazy and trying to cover up. 187 00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:06,404 Skeptics would say ADHD is just an excuse for forgetting your keys. 188 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,797 We all forget our keys. 189 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,454 I think part of the reason is because if you look at the symptoms of ADHD, 190 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:17,677 all of them are things that are typical in everybody to some extent. 191 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,244 You get distracted, your mind wanders. 192 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,725 - Losing things. - Impulsivity. 193 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:25,119 They miss deadlines. They're always running behind. 194 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,555 Not sitting still. 195 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,905 Exquisitely sensitive to rejection. 196 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,038 - Problems focusing. - Daydream. 197 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,430 Difficulties with inhibition. 198 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,737 Difficulty regulating their emotions. 199 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,826 - Interrupting. - Trouble organizing. 200 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,873 Problem solving. Decision making. The list goes on and on. 201 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,920 We really try to pay attention to 202 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:46,793 all of their behaviors across different settings. 203 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,665 And we also think about how these behaviors, 204 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,885 if they have them, are affecting them. 205 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,888 So, is it causing them some distress or impairment in their life? 206 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:55,932 ...for a second. 207 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:57,673 More with fingers. 208 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,285 Fingers like that. Remember? Can you deal with that? 209 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:06,334 Nick really struggles with transitions. 210 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:10,512 So, going from being home, having lots of family time, 211 00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:14,864 seeing his mom and dad a lot to go into school threw him for a complete loop. 212 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,997 He was totally out of sorts. 213 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,523 Nothing about that school environment felt right for him. 214 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:26,397 All right. Nicholas, I love you. Give me a kiss. 215 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,835 I love you, Mom. 216 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:32,360 There's this misconception that if the child is motivated enough 217 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:35,755 that they will comply, 218 00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,844 they will do the things they need to do. 219 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:42,326 But the fact is that it's not a matter of willpower. 220 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:46,548 It's a matter of the dynamics of the chemistry of the brain. 221 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:50,726 I spend my every waking moment trying to get outside of my own head 222 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,162 because it's a mess in there. 223 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,251 It's very busy. 224 00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,993 Your brain is always firing, you're firing at 1000 miles an hour, 225 00:12:57,037 --> 00:13:01,171 your eight cylinders by eight cylinders, 24/7, 365. 226 00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,957 It is like I'm juggling 20 balls, 227 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,263 but I don't remember where they were in the air. 228 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,701 I'm just there trying to kind of catch all these balls and I remember nothing. 229 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:15,316 Imagine somebody sitting on the keys of the computer. That's what your brain is like. 230 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,753 That's ADHD. 231 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,672 So, what's happened in the last 10 or 20 years 232 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:27,328 is more specific understanding of the neurology behind it. 233 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:30,722 An area in the brain that is somewhat different 234 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:36,685 is the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the caudate. 235 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:41,472 The area for emotional control and impulsivity. 236 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,476 So, the cortex is responsible for thinking and problem solving 237 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,652 and underneath it are these structures 238 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,612 that are part of these complicated loops. 239 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,832 They take information from the cortex, 240 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,617 bring it to the sub-cortex, and bring it back to the cortex. 241 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:59,926 So, this is a big relay loop where information is processed. 242 00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:03,843 In ADHD, that relay system sort of short circuits, 243 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,801 and so, it's almost chaotic. 244 00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,458 Maybe a good way to think about it 245 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,896 is if you were doing a really challenging physics worksheet 246 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,290 and I'm blaring music into your ears. 247 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,945 Plus, I'm making you listen to a lecture, 248 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,382 plus, I'm having you write some things, 249 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,645 plus, somebody is tapping on you. 250 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:26,735 That's, essentially, what it feels like to the ADHD brain. 251 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,653 They have every desire to just finish the worksheet 252 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:36,571 but they just cannot focus their attention enough to persist and stay on task. 253 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,289 Yeah, look, almost building it. 254 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,291 See, I'm putting some cheese in there. 255 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,511 Can I put some cheese in there? 256 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,208 Yeah, you can put some cheese in there. 257 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,820 - What? That's your mouth. 258 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,344 That's not the shell. 259 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,651 Whenever someone meets Bear for the first time, 260 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,958 the first thing they always say, "He's such a happy kid." 261 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:21,746 - Will Bear actually eat all his food? 262 00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:26,273 - Don't bet on it. 263 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,669 Bear started walking, like, at 14 months. 264 00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:37,110 Once he got the groove, heh, he's like, all over the place. 265 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,420 He is having so much fun. 266 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:49,731 But I never was thinking, like, "Oh, you know, he has ADHD." 267 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:54,083 I mean, because boys are normally all over the place anyway. 268 00:15:56,303 --> 00:16:00,263 But the tantrums are just so intense. 269 00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,222 Just the rolling things. 270 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,750 Screaming, stomping. 271 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,447 Jeez! 272 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,710 Just really, really, really bad tantrums. 273 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:18,151 And it was really becoming stressful in the household because of it. 274 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,153 Okay, Bear. 275 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:23,069 No matter how many times I would try to talk to him. 276 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,635 You have to calm down. 277 00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:27,334 It's not a big deal. 278 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,556 Parenting a child with ADHD is exhausting. 279 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,954 Basically, it's more stress. It's a higher stress level. 280 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:44,829 It's a higher emotional stress level and it's ongoing. 281 00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,093 Come on. Come, put your pajamas on. 282 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,095 Bear! 283 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,055 Bear. 284 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,623 We have defiance and refusal and temper tantrums. 285 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,625 And now we have a tornado in the family. 286 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:04,675 I like to think of the ADHD brain as being hungry for stimulation. 287 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:10,725 Any kind of sensory input is, essentially, like its food. 288 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,381 And so, when it suddenly gets hungry, 289 00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:18,385 because it's a boring situation or a boring task, it goes in search of food. 290 00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:21,083 And it goes in search of different types of stimulations. 291 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:28,134 Believe it or not even getting yelled at does activate them a little bit. 292 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:31,746 And so, if that's the only stimulation they can get, they'll work to get it. 293 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,313 How was school today? 294 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,189 Look. 295 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,326 This is a mountain. 296 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,417 Oh, okay. 297 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:57,641 So, I actually have ADHD and I was diagnosed last year. 298 00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:58,555 Um... 299 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:04,344 And there's certain things that Bear would do 300 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,782 that I noticed that I would do quite often. 301 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:11,002 And so, it just made me wonder if, you know, 302 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,961 maybe he had that and I know it's hereditary. 303 00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:15,485 Have a good day at school today. 304 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:21,187 I will get a lot of phone calls also from the school 305 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:24,625 saying he hit a kid or bit someone 306 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,931 or, you know, something like that. 307 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,717 I'll have to pick him, like leave work and pick him up from school. 308 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:36,898 It got so bad to the point where something happened 309 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:41,381 where he got in to it with his friend and in class. 310 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,731 The kid like took his glasses and broke them. 311 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,951 So, he took that kid's glasses and... and threw them on the floor. 312 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:53,349 And then somehow the teacher involved herself and accidentally got scratched. 313 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:56,657 And then I get this call from the school principal 314 00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:02,489 saying, "Oh, Bear attacked the teacher. She's bleeding profusely." 315 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:06,884 And I'm like, "What! What are you talking about?" So, I get to the school. 316 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,713 And I see the teacher has a tiny scratch, 317 00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:13,543 just not bleeding profusely, just a little Band-Aid. 318 00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:19,288 And, at that point, they wanted Bear to be expelled from school... 319 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:24,032 which means he'll miss graduating. 320 00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:29,037 I will never have the experience of watching my son graduate from kindergarten. 321 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:35,043 And I'm still very, you know, upset about that that he didn't get that experience. 322 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:41,005 As many as 5% of American children suffer from ADHD... 323 00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:42,485 Over the past decade or two, 324 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,488 we've seen ADHD, uh, diagnoses increase. 325 00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:49,840 ADHD diagnoses in the United States for school kids 326 00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,626 has increased by 43% in less than ten years. 327 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:55,629 That number continues to rise every year. 328 00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:57,892 And chances are you probably know someone who has it. 329 00:19:57,935 --> 00:19:59,502 Is this an epidemic that we're talking about here? 330 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,243 It, well, certainly, feels like that. 331 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:06,509 ADHD is found in around 9% of American schoolchildren. 332 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:11,122 And that makes it one of the most common diagnoses in childhood. 333 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,303 We believe that ADHD, 334 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,088 when we look at surveys across the world, universally, 335 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:26,921 it seems like about 5% of the population has clinically relevant ADHD symptoms. 336 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:32,883 In other parts of the world, they're about 2 to 3% or even less. 337 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:34,711 In America, that number is higher. 338 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:45,244 It could be that clinicians are becoming better at diagnosing ADHD. 339 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,028 They have better tools for diagnosing it, 340 00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:49,770 the definition has become clearer. 341 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,859 There's better education for clinicians. 342 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:56,167 We can actually identify these children 343 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,822 and really course correct some of the trajectory 344 00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:01,477 that they would have been on if they didn't get the diagnosis. 345 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:10,834 If we're looking at a disorder that affects 10% of the population, 346 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:13,359 is that really a disorder? 347 00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,012 Or is that a variant of normal? 348 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:18,233 People interpret a rise in diagnosis and treatment 349 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,322 as somehow, we must be getting it wrong, 350 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,933 and we're over-diagnosing and we just don't have evidence of that. 351 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:26,110 Take a standpoint of public health. 352 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:29,810 We want to be reaching as many people as possible. 353 00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:35,337 If there was a rise in diagnosis of breast cancer, 354 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,600 we'd be celebrating that because we'd be saying 355 00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:40,603 "Yes, more women are doing self-exams 356 00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:43,911 "and getting their... their examinations." 357 00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:50,309 And so, a rise in the identification and treatment of people is actually good news. 358 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,708 Hi, my name is Rece Miller and I have ADHD. 359 00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:02,495 When Rece was born, 360 00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,192 across the river was a baseball game 361 00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:06,586 - and fireworks were going off. 362 00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:09,240 That's probably the first thing he saw as a child, 363 00:22:09,284 --> 00:22:11,765 were the fireworks flying up in the sky. 364 00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:15,159 - And out came the firework himself right there. - He was like... 365 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:17,553 - He was like the explosion. - It was. 366 00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:19,425 - That's when it all started. 367 00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:24,908 We knew fairly soon after he was born, 368 00:22:24,952 --> 00:22:29,522 that there was something totally challenging about him. 369 00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:32,394 - Holly, what's the name of the cartoon ? - Shut up! 370 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:37,834 The energy level was unbelievable. 371 00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:40,402 The more he would go, the more he would go. 372 00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:43,449 You know, he was like, you know they talk about the Energizer Bunny. 373 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,581 Well, that was... that was Rece. 374 00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:50,020 - His battery never died. - Never died. - Never died. 375 00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:53,415 And, literally, if he got tired, he got more active. 376 00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:55,635 - He got faster. - Faster. 377 00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:59,421 And when you're old... 378 00:22:59,465 --> 00:23:00,857 - You're older parents... - Here we go. 379 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,642 ...we were, like, "I just want a nap. 380 00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:05,340 Please just let... a little sleep." 381 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,473 I'm definitely misunderstood. 382 00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:09,605 But, I also like being a troublemaker. 383 00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:13,043 It's fun. It's really fun. 384 00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:21,965 I was looking at the picture and I was playing and go, 385 00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:26,448 "Whoa, I... I'm actually seeing stores like in the cartoons." 386 00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:29,233 It's a real thing. 387 00:23:29,277 --> 00:23:33,150 Diagnosed ADHD in our family, obviously, Rece, 388 00:23:33,194 --> 00:23:34,630 my son, Dylan... 389 00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:40,941 my daughter, Haley, Bart, and me. 390 00:23:48,731 --> 00:23:50,994 If you have one ADHD child, 391 00:23:51,038 --> 00:23:54,302 then the risk to the other children is 35%. 392 00:23:54,345 --> 00:23:57,261 That is seven times higher than the general population. 393 00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,275 Did you hear your alarm? 394 00:24:13,756 --> 00:24:16,193 - What's that? - Did you hear your alarm? 395 00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:18,195 - Yeah. I turned it off. - Okay. 396 00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:21,590 Most of the things that go wrong in the mornings 397 00:24:21,634 --> 00:24:24,593 and everywhere often are tied in transitioning. 398 00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:26,682 You know, he... he's so slow to react. 399 00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:30,773 Like, if we're in a big hurry, I think he goes slower. 400 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,558 Yeah. 401 00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:36,562 As I always say, when he hears the word "hurry" and he goes... 402 00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:39,173 - He's like... He's just... - He slows down. 403 00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:45,571 The reminders are huge because it's... 404 00:24:45,614 --> 00:24:49,139 it's almost like every day is a clean slate, you know, for him. 405 00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:52,752 I have a lot of notes around the house. 406 00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:55,972 And, keep in mind, this is just to get... 407 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:59,889 This is just to get me out of the house and go to school. 408 00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:01,935 Let me show you one of them. 409 00:25:01,978 --> 00:25:05,329 Like, one of them is "Do you have everything for a great day?" 410 00:25:05,373 --> 00:25:08,158 I was like, "Mom, what the heck's wrong with you? I don't need all these notes." 411 00:25:08,202 --> 00:25:09,943 She was, like, "Yes, you do." 412 00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:12,641 Then one day I didn't look at the notes and I forgot stuff. 413 00:25:12,685 --> 00:25:15,296 So, need to run back home to get stuff. 414 00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:16,689 And then we need to go to school. 415 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:18,908 So, turns out that notes actually work. 416 00:25:18,952 --> 00:25:21,650 - No, I'm gonna check the outside to see if there is a hole. - No, I'll find it 417 00:25:21,694 --> 00:25:24,044 Daddy will do it. You just please relax. 418 00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:24,914 - What? 419 00:25:26,655 --> 00:25:28,483 Some mornings it's, you know, all of a sudden, 420 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,486 I can't take anymore and I'm... I'm yelling at him. 421 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,576 And I'm like, "Rece, what is wrong with you? Why are you...?" 422 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:38,362 You know, and he... he'll come back with something, like, "Everything, Dad." 423 00:25:38,406 --> 00:25:40,451 And then I immediately feel awful. 424 00:25:40,495 --> 00:25:42,584 - What? You're behind. - Right. 425 00:25:42,628 --> 00:25:46,327 Let's go. Shoes. Coat. 426 00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:51,680 - Love you, Dad. - Love you. 427 00:25:51,724 --> 00:25:53,290 See you after school. 428 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:54,683 - Are you good? - Yep. 429 00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:56,337 See you in a couple of hours. Okay. 430 00:25:57,643 --> 00:25:59,819 I love you. I wish I could take you to school, 431 00:25:59,862 --> 00:26:01,211 you and Carson would get along great. 432 00:26:01,255 --> 00:26:03,257 - Rece. Seriously. - I'm talking. 433 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,215 Go, go, go. 434 00:26:06,739 --> 00:26:07,609 Okay. 435 00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:11,961 So, if it's been a horrifying morning, often, 436 00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:18,141 um, I've gone back to school and written a quick note, 437 00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:20,927 and asked the Secretary to give it to him... 438 00:26:25,671 --> 00:26:27,455 because I could be very ugly. 439 00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:33,461 Um, and I want him to know that it's okay and I love him. 440 00:26:44,907 --> 00:26:46,735 Good. 441 00:26:46,779 --> 00:26:48,824 We diagnose ADHD more in boys than in girls, 442 00:26:48,868 --> 00:26:51,610 because boys tend to be disruptive. 443 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:57,180 One at a time. Not bad, not bad. Switch your partners, please. 444 00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:02,359 Hyperactivity is the hallmark of the diagnosis in many school systems. 445 00:27:02,403 --> 00:27:04,187 So, girls don't do that. 446 00:27:05,319 --> 00:27:08,191 More than likely, as a girl, 447 00:27:08,235 --> 00:27:11,673 you're not going to get diagnosed and often you get misdiagnosed. 448 00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,982 Girls fidget a lot, they may bite their nails, 449 00:27:16,025 --> 00:27:19,507 they may twist their hair, they may tap their toe, but nobody sees it. 450 00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,205 They're the daydreamer. 451 00:27:22,249 --> 00:27:23,990 They're the girl that sits in the back of the class 452 00:27:24,033 --> 00:27:27,210 staring out the window lost in her thoughts. 453 00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:33,477 Usually, they are pretty smart, so that they can use their intellect to compensate. 454 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:37,525 And it's only if you can get a window into their inner life 455 00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:40,136 that you're going to find out that they're struggling. 456 00:27:41,877 --> 00:27:45,359 Hi, this is Zara and I've been having a really hard week. 457 00:27:45,402 --> 00:27:48,144 It hasn't been going too well. I've been worrying a lot. 458 00:27:48,188 --> 00:27:52,540 And because I've been worrying I feel I've been slacking a lot in my homework. 459 00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:55,325 That's been giving me a lot of stress. 460 00:27:55,369 --> 00:27:57,066 My life is a mess. 461 00:27:59,503 --> 00:28:02,202 - Hey, how are you, cutie? - I'm good. How are you? 462 00:28:02,245 --> 00:28:04,639 - Good. Good to see you. - It's good to see you. 463 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:07,120 - What did you bring? - I brought my writing with me. 464 00:28:08,512 --> 00:28:11,211 So, since I saw you I guess like a month ago, 465 00:28:11,254 --> 00:28:12,952 you were going to work on a schedule. 466 00:28:12,995 --> 00:28:16,216 - Which I did. Check. - And bring your writing... 467 00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:19,175 Zara was referred to me by a colleague of mine. 468 00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:22,918 She said, "This will be a wasted brain..." 469 00:28:22,962 --> 00:28:25,791 were her quotes, "...if we do not help her." 470 00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:28,750 I know you told me in our first meeting 471 00:28:28,794 --> 00:28:32,841 that a big concern and issue is the time. 472 00:28:32,885 --> 00:28:34,713 - Like, how you manage the time? - Yeah. 473 00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:37,063 - Right? - Yeah, that's true. 474 00:28:37,106 --> 00:28:39,456 Would you say, it's probably the biggest source of friction and frustration? 475 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,895 Yes, because I fail to manage my time 476 00:28:42,938 --> 00:28:46,725 I noticed that has put a lot of tension in my family. 477 00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:48,465 Okay. So... 478 00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:51,860 Every morning my was like living hell. 479 00:28:51,904 --> 00:28:55,690 My mom... I would do something, it would tick my mother off 480 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:59,781 and then, like, a bomb, she would explode. 481 00:28:59,825 --> 00:29:03,959 And when I mean explode she'd start lecturing me and telling me do this do that. 482 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,660 No? Okay. 483 00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:20,149 - So, I think that if we can master this this summer... - Mm-hmm. 484 00:29:20,193 --> 00:29:23,457 ...and really get our ADLs that means activities of daily living, 485 00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:26,808 brushing teeth, eating, things like that down pat, 486 00:29:26,852 --> 00:29:29,811 that you will be in a better way going to the school. 487 00:29:29,855 --> 00:29:30,986 - The new school. - Okay. 488 00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:32,509 - Are you so excited? - Yeah. 489 00:29:32,553 --> 00:29:34,773 - About the new school? - Yeah. In fact... 490 00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:36,862 I love the family. There are a great case. 491 00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:38,733 But this is one of my most challenging cases. 492 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,213 Okay, so, Khuda Hafiz, have a good day. 493 00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:42,215 - Okay. Hafiz. - Be good. - I will. 494 00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:45,131 Savera wants nothing more than for her daughter 495 00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:48,264 to be happy and have a well-adjusted life. 496 00:29:48,308 --> 00:29:52,094 However, the impacts and coming to terms with 497 00:29:52,138 --> 00:29:55,619 this diagnosis of ADHD has caused Savera great distress. 498 00:29:55,663 --> 00:29:56,925 Have a good day at work. 499 00:29:57,883 --> 00:30:01,321 Sixth grade was a tough year for us. 500 00:30:03,105 --> 00:30:06,630 There are certain basic general traits, expectations, 501 00:30:06,674 --> 00:30:09,851 that are associated with a 13-year-old child. 502 00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:13,376 And a certain set of skills should be attained by that age. 503 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:17,076 And when your child is not matching up with that, 504 00:30:17,119 --> 00:30:19,905 you know that there's something wrong. 505 00:30:19,948 --> 00:30:22,864 Do you want to still...? You can do it, but just keep it from the leash. 506 00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:26,302 You know, parents often recognize earlier than anybody else 507 00:30:26,346 --> 00:30:29,088 that something's wrong, something's different. 508 00:30:29,131 --> 00:30:33,222 That can start to lead to tension in that relationship. 509 00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:37,226 Maybe I just have to step up my discipline and apply it more quickly, 510 00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:41,883 and become more commanding, and controlling, and then this child will get it. 511 00:30:41,927 --> 00:30:45,147 And so, the level of conflict starts to go up 512 00:30:45,191 --> 00:30:49,238 because the child starts to react to that in a negative way. 513 00:30:49,282 --> 00:30:53,068 - Ahem, okay, I brought my stuff for later. - Okay. 514 00:30:53,112 --> 00:30:56,419 - What's the password? - Let me type the password in. 515 00:30:58,030 --> 00:30:59,466 Come here. 516 00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:01,511 ADHD wasn't even on our radar 517 00:31:01,555 --> 00:31:03,209 because we didn't really believe in it. 518 00:31:03,252 --> 00:31:06,212 A big part of me thought it was a bogus diagnosis. 519 00:31:06,255 --> 00:31:11,304 I, frankly, thought that ADHD was about hyperactive children, 520 00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:14,916 particularly boys who were literally bouncing off the walls. 521 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,879 As the year went on, there were just more and more issues. 522 00:31:22,445 --> 00:31:25,187 Every day there was either a phone call from the school 523 00:31:25,231 --> 00:31:27,450 or an email from the teachers. 524 00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:30,932 If it's not regarding her late turning in homework, 525 00:31:30,976 --> 00:31:34,022 or forgetting her homework or not following the morning routine, 526 00:31:34,066 --> 00:31:35,850 seven months into sixth grade, 527 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:39,419 it was then about the social side of the school. 528 00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:57,350 Around this time we were seeing issues with impulsivity 529 00:31:57,393 --> 00:31:59,134 and seeing things that you shouldn't, 530 00:31:59,178 --> 00:32:01,180 and sometimes to the point of being hurtful, 531 00:32:01,223 --> 00:32:03,878 and... and, you know, like of hurting others. 532 00:32:06,315 --> 00:32:09,318 And I told her that when you behave this way, 533 00:32:09,362 --> 00:32:13,366 you are making us as a family, you're making us look bad. 534 00:32:13,409 --> 00:32:15,934 You're sending very negative vibes out there 535 00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:18,458 about us as a family and about yourself. 536 00:32:19,328 --> 00:32:24,116 It has a toll on your entire house, everyone's relationship... 537 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:31,340 because the overall tone is constant frustration, anger, and anxiety, basically. 538 00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:36,650 Have a great day. Take time to do your test. Okay? 539 00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:39,566 Why are you acting like that? 540 00:32:41,481 --> 00:32:42,961 Why? 541 00:32:44,658 --> 00:32:47,922 The danger in missing this diagnosis in girls 542 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:52,144 is... is a lifetime of underachievement, depression, anxiety. 543 00:32:53,362 --> 00:32:55,147 And I see it all the time. 544 00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:59,499 You are well on your way to a cooperation point tonight. 545 00:32:59,542 --> 00:33:02,110 - So, if you want you can... - Mm-hmm. 546 00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:04,417 Do you wanna mark it on your thing? 547 00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:10,945 So, when my son was diagnosed, the psychologist, 548 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:16,255 and she's running through what was the results of nine hours of testing that he had, 549 00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:19,040 and I was like, some large percent 550 00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:23,871 of what you just read to me resonates very deeply with me. 551 00:33:23,914 --> 00:33:26,178 But, you were talking about my son. 552 00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:34,273 It's the distractibility and the impulsivity, 553 00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:38,451 interrupting or saying the wrong thing. 554 00:33:38,494 --> 00:33:41,062 I have to say what I'm thinking when I'm thinking it, 555 00:33:41,106 --> 00:33:43,238 and I have a really hard time not saying it 556 00:33:43,282 --> 00:33:48,113 and then I go, "Oh, that was not a good decision." 557 00:33:48,156 --> 00:33:49,984 Let's go play basketball right now. 558 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:52,552 All right. Let me just look at these work text messages. 559 00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:55,163 How long is it gonna take? 560 00:33:56,251 --> 00:34:01,169 My kids get really frustrated because I'm not a great listener. 561 00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:06,218 Um, so, like, they'll talk to me and then I'll interrupt. 562 00:34:06,261 --> 00:34:08,002 You always look at your call. 563 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,918 I know, I just want to respond to the... I know, honey. 564 00:34:10,961 --> 00:34:12,615 And my memory is just terrible. 565 00:34:12,659 --> 00:34:14,661 I mean, I wonder if I have like early Alzheimer's. 566 00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:16,837 I mean, I've literally had these thoughts. 567 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,319 Do I... Am I in dementia? Like, what is going on? 568 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:27,543 I... I drank in the morning. 569 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:32,635 I do not drink in the morning. 570 00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:34,985 I do not drink in the morning. 571 00:34:35,029 --> 00:34:37,292 I drink a lot of coffee in the morning. 572 00:34:38,337 --> 00:34:41,862 I would drink probably eight espressos a day. 573 00:34:41,905 --> 00:34:45,039 And then I come home and I drank at night. 574 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,521 - No, , Mom. - Wanna play horse? 575 00:34:48,564 --> 00:34:50,610 Yeah, I want to go first. 576 00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:54,440 And it got to the point where I was struggling 577 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:57,269 to get through a week without drinking every night. 578 00:34:58,270 --> 00:34:59,793 Make it seem... 579 00:34:59,836 --> 00:35:03,449 If you have ADHD, it is pretty common 580 00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:08,497 for you to also have some element of depression and some element of anxiety. 581 00:35:09,411 --> 00:35:15,330 Every aspect of life can be negatively affected by undiagnosed ADHD, everything. 582 00:35:15,374 --> 00:35:19,160 I never feel like I have it all together and I feel like... 583 00:35:22,207 --> 00:35:25,035 I've put on a really good show. Um... 584 00:35:26,689 --> 00:35:29,866 Marriage, divorce rate is way higher. 585 00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:33,043 Uh, achievement at work, typically underachieved. 586 00:35:34,044 --> 00:35:39,398 Substance use, big problem, way more common in people with ADHD. 587 00:35:39,441 --> 00:35:43,010 I drank myself to slow down. 588 00:35:43,053 --> 00:35:46,927 I was just self-medicating and I didn't know why. 589 00:35:46,970 --> 00:35:49,277 I used to watch the way people would navigate socially. 590 00:35:49,321 --> 00:35:51,888 And I would think like, "Wow, how did they do that?" 591 00:35:51,932 --> 00:35:55,065 Um, and you know, for me, alcohol was a good way to manage it. 592 00:35:55,109 --> 00:35:57,546 If your mind is going a million miles an hour, 593 00:35:57,590 --> 00:36:01,811 and you take something that slows you down and relaxes you, 594 00:36:01,855 --> 00:36:05,380 you know, why wouldn't you want to do that all the time? 595 00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:07,513 People do think of it as a deficit. 596 00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:11,125 I... I would really question whether that's really a correct model. 597 00:36:14,128 --> 00:36:18,915 There are some very amazing things about the ADHD brain. 598 00:36:18,959 --> 00:36:20,961 You know, this is kind of first time that 599 00:36:21,004 --> 00:36:23,616 our modules have been cross utilized... 600 00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:28,055 Coming up with connections between things that other people would not see. 601 00:36:28,098 --> 00:36:29,622 Why don't we do marketing? 602 00:36:29,665 --> 00:36:33,016 You know, stepping back, and like, envisioning 603 00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:35,584 why things aren't working and how you can do it better. 604 00:36:36,498 --> 00:36:40,981 And then executing that at a big picture scale. 605 00:36:41,024 --> 00:36:42,025 Really good at that. 606 00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:48,423 Some of the most creative innovators of our time 607 00:36:48,467 --> 00:36:53,820 in the sciences, in music, in art, in business 608 00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:58,346 turned out to have many of the symptoms of ADHD. 609 00:36:58,390 --> 00:37:01,697 And we benefit today from their discoveries, 610 00:37:01,741 --> 00:37:03,656 from their productions, 611 00:37:03,699 --> 00:37:06,136 and it's made us a richer, richer society. 612 00:37:10,184 --> 00:37:12,534 The core triad of symptoms 613 00:37:12,578 --> 00:37:17,191 are distractibility, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. 614 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:21,630 But if you turn each one of those on its head, you get a positive. 615 00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:25,591 The flipside of distractibility is curiosity. 616 00:37:25,634 --> 00:37:27,419 What's that? What's that? What's that? 617 00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:29,725 If you didn't care, you wouldn't get distracted. 618 00:37:29,769 --> 00:37:32,424 But you want to, so, we're driven by curiosity. 619 00:37:32,467 --> 00:37:34,730 It just started snowing. 620 00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:36,906 Sometimes it gets us into trouble because we're too nosy, 621 00:37:36,950 --> 00:37:38,995 but sometimes we discover penicillin. 622 00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:45,306 I just decided that I was going to put some bowls just like that. 623 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:47,656 And I wanted to collect a bunch of snow 624 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:51,791 because I'm trying to make this like ice cream stuff that you make a snowman. 625 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:53,401 It never snows in Texas. 626 00:37:54,968 --> 00:37:58,972 The flipside of impulsivity, what is creativity? 627 00:37:59,015 --> 00:38:01,104 But impulsivity gone right? 628 00:38:01,148 --> 00:38:03,629 You don't plan to have a creative thought. 629 00:38:03,672 --> 00:38:07,285 You don't say. "It's 2:00, time for my creative idea." And lay it like an egg? No. 630 00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:10,984 New ideas, brilliant new insights, 631 00:38:11,027 --> 00:38:14,509 come unbidden spontaneously, impulsively. 632 00:38:14,553 --> 00:38:17,469 "I'm from rough Mongolian mountaintops to soft Silk Roads 633 00:38:17,512 --> 00:38:19,775 "ancestors who kill not knowing better. 634 00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:23,605 "I'm Zara from Pakistan, India, Afghanistan, Mongolia and Norway. I'm..." 635 00:38:23,649 --> 00:38:25,433 Zara is a brilliant writer. 636 00:38:25,477 --> 00:38:29,350 Her poems, her writings are that 637 00:38:29,394 --> 00:38:32,397 they're more superb than students I've seen in graduate school. 638 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:33,615 No exaggeration. 639 00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:38,054 And then the third, hyperactivity, 640 00:38:38,098 --> 00:38:41,101 you get to be my age, I'm 70 years old, it's called energy. 641 00:38:42,842 --> 00:38:46,411 You know I'm really glad to have this little turbo pack on my back. 642 00:38:46,454 --> 00:38:49,762 So, you know, again, in keeping with the way I see it 643 00:38:49,805 --> 00:38:52,025 it's a mixture of positives and negatives. 644 00:38:52,068 --> 00:38:54,854 Yes, distractibility, impulsivity, hyperactivity, 645 00:38:54,897 --> 00:38:57,378 can be disruptive, can be an impediment. 646 00:38:57,422 --> 00:39:01,251 But, their flipside are tremendous, inborn assets. 647 00:39:02,862 --> 00:39:04,907 I think my ADD superpower 648 00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:09,390 is the ability to look at very complex situations 649 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:12,001 and find simple solutions to it. 650 00:39:12,045 --> 00:39:15,222 Things that others have just said it's just too difficult. 651 00:39:15,265 --> 00:39:17,703 It... it's just not easy. 652 00:39:17,746 --> 00:39:21,097 And they will test you and they will provoke you and they will break rules. 653 00:39:21,141 --> 00:39:24,884 You've now become this big businesswoman, aren't you? 17 product lines. 654 00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:26,407 You're going to start a hotel chain. 655 00:39:26,451 --> 00:39:28,496 - Not a Hilton chain, your one. - Yes. 656 00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:30,542 This is big business. 657 00:39:30,585 --> 00:39:32,935 I think it's made me the businesswoman I am today. 658 00:39:32,979 --> 00:39:35,503 I'm a risk taker. I'm creative. 659 00:39:35,547 --> 00:39:37,200 My mind is always moving. 660 00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:39,377 I'm always thinking of new ways to do business. 661 00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:43,076 And I think it really just gives me this drive and this edge. 662 00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:47,210 And you just want to get them through it alive 663 00:39:47,254 --> 00:39:51,345 with their self-esteem intact, with their... with their liking themselves. 664 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:53,565 One, two, one, two, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. 665 00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:56,568 The fact that I have all these things going on inside my head 666 00:39:56,611 --> 00:39:59,440 I have an advantage that other people don't. 667 00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:05,315 Sometimes I describe the superpower 668 00:40:05,359 --> 00:40:08,797 of having like five computers hooked up to one monitor. 669 00:40:08,841 --> 00:40:12,061 And so your brain is just constantly taking in information, 670 00:40:12,105 --> 00:40:15,978 processing data, spitting out things like ready to go. 671 00:40:16,022 --> 00:40:18,285 So that's a huge superpower. 672 00:40:18,328 --> 00:40:20,809 And processing what's happening with the camera, 673 00:40:20,853 --> 00:40:23,899 and all of these screens in front of me, 674 00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:25,727 plus, the teleprompter. 675 00:40:25,771 --> 00:40:31,429 And, uh, the only reason why I can do it is because of ADHD. 676 00:40:31,472 --> 00:40:34,475 And the more intense it gets, the better I am. 677 00:40:34,519 --> 00:40:36,434 - Hi. - How are you? I'm Lisa. 678 00:40:36,477 --> 00:40:39,437 - Tommy, Tommy Gunn. - Nice to meet you. - My pleasure. 679 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:43,702 They are the ones who are willing to really push 680 00:40:43,745 --> 00:40:46,835 and take a chance and see it all the way through. 681 00:40:49,838 --> 00:40:52,188 That was by far the most insane thing I've ever done in my life. 682 00:40:52,232 --> 00:40:56,018 Entrepreneurship is a natural pathway for someone with ADHD 683 00:40:56,062 --> 00:41:01,937 because what people with ADHD crave more than anything else is freedom. 684 00:41:01,981 --> 00:41:04,636 They think outside the box. 685 00:41:04,679 --> 00:41:07,813 They don't need to follow all the rules the way the rest of us do to get to the answer. 686 00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:09,815 We change the way campaigns were run 687 00:41:09,858 --> 00:41:11,643 - and I think we're gonna win tomorrow. 688 00:41:11,686 --> 00:41:15,821 They have resilience, grit, big heartedness. 689 00:41:15,864 --> 00:41:17,344 I'll teach you the bridge after this interview. 690 00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:18,476 - Please do. - Okay. 691 00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:19,999 Because I can't figure it out. 692 00:41:20,042 --> 00:41:22,044 No, it's not that hard, I'll teach it to you. 693 00:41:22,088 --> 00:41:26,005 Their sweet spot is inflexible, creative, energetic. 694 00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,182 Let's go, baby! 695 00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:31,445 Multitasking types of settings. 696 00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:33,186 And so oftentimes, 697 00:41:33,229 --> 00:41:37,495 I see adults with ADHD are in really creative fields. 698 00:41:37,538 --> 00:41:39,627 Look what she's doing a back flip, back flip. 699 00:41:39,671 --> 00:41:42,630 Double, double! There it is. That's the Biles! 700 00:41:42,674 --> 00:41:44,458 That's what we've been waiting for. 701 00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:53,119 Hyper focus is probably the best aspect of ADHD, the greatest strike. 702 00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:56,339 What's important to understand is 703 00:41:56,383 --> 00:41:59,517 that when something is interesting, or exciting, 704 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,997 or absorbing to the kid with ADHD, 705 00:42:02,041 --> 00:42:06,306 their switch is not only turned on, it is on overdrive on. 706 00:42:06,349 --> 00:42:07,742 And what does that mean? 707 00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:10,310 It means that they can hyper-focus. 708 00:42:10,353 --> 00:42:13,618 Something that actually the rest of us who want to focus on might have difficulty doing. 709 00:42:13,661 --> 00:42:16,838 We're reaching 125 million consumers, today. 710 00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:21,582 We're on 21 TV networks, we're in 170, out of home locations. 711 00:42:21,626 --> 00:42:23,802 When I'm hyper-focused, 712 00:42:23,845 --> 00:42:28,850 it doesn't matter if a nuclear bomb is going off, my house is on fire. 713 00:42:28,894 --> 00:42:31,026 I... I won the lottery. 714 00:42:31,070 --> 00:42:34,421 It would not matter. There's nothing you can do to get my brain... 715 00:42:34,464 --> 00:42:36,728 I can take one subject matter 716 00:42:36,771 --> 00:42:40,645 and I will be oblivious to everything else happening in the world. 717 00:42:40,688 --> 00:42:43,386 Around ADHD there's tremendous ignorance. 718 00:42:43,430 --> 00:42:46,781 Most people are not aware of the positives that go with it. 719 00:42:46,825 --> 00:42:49,436 We have a many more tools in our toolbox. 720 00:42:50,306 --> 00:42:52,831 What we need is to educate more professionals. 721 00:42:52,874 --> 00:42:58,184 And particularly, in the strength-based approach instead of a deficit disorder. 722 00:42:58,227 --> 00:43:00,839 You need to look and see whether the person with ADHD 723 00:43:00,882 --> 00:43:03,972 has anything that we could capitalize on, 724 00:43:04,016 --> 00:43:08,281 and then do what Michael Phelps' mother did, and get those resources 725 00:43:08,324 --> 00:43:12,546 that turn that from an aptitude into a talent 726 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,766 that sets you apart from other people. 727 00:43:16,202 --> 00:43:18,639 But you have to be careful not to extrapolate 728 00:43:18,683 --> 00:43:22,121 because by saying that it's an advantage, 729 00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:25,341 it reduces the pressure on people to help them. 730 00:43:29,998 --> 00:43:32,697 So, tomorrow, um, 731 00:43:32,740 --> 00:43:37,615 Bear has a prescription for a medication called Concerta. 732 00:43:38,746 --> 00:43:40,313 - Bear. - What? 733 00:43:40,356 --> 00:43:42,620 Come on. 734 00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:45,666 This pediatrician recommended maybe starting him on half a pill 735 00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:48,800 um, just to see, um, how he does. 736 00:43:48,843 --> 00:43:53,326 Um, since like, this will be like his first time ever taking, 737 00:43:53,369 --> 00:43:55,328 you know, a medicine of this type. 738 00:43:55,371 --> 00:43:57,547 So, um, I think tomorrow 739 00:43:57,591 --> 00:44:02,248 I'll probably go ahead and do half a pill and see how that goes. 740 00:44:03,249 --> 00:44:07,209 I am hesitant about it because he's just a little baby. 741 00:44:10,822 --> 00:44:13,738 Because he's... he's gone through so much 742 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,872 that it just might be good for him to have it. 743 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:21,006 I want him to be able to live his best life. 744 00:44:27,142 --> 00:44:30,232 Oh! Oh, you're really good. 745 00:44:30,276 --> 00:44:35,716 My main concern was that the side effects would be an issue. 746 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,980 And I wouldn't know because he's a kid 747 00:44:39,024 --> 00:44:44,986 and I'm... I'm not sure if he's gonna tell me or if he will be able to explain it. 748 00:44:45,030 --> 00:44:47,249 You need a break? Okay. 749 00:44:48,511 --> 00:44:52,167 And for myself, I know when I started taking medication, 750 00:44:52,211 --> 00:44:56,998 I had really bad side effects and I didn't like how it made me feel. 751 00:44:57,042 --> 00:45:02,177 So, I have this medicine here, it's Concerta. 752 00:45:09,968 --> 00:45:11,360 I hope this works. 753 00:45:14,189 --> 00:45:16,017 Is that a medicine? 754 00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:20,630 If you eat this, I'll get you a toy, whatever toy you want. 755 00:45:25,331 --> 00:45:27,289 Just swallow it down, don't chew it. 756 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:30,336 Just do. 757 00:45:30,379 --> 00:45:34,383 If you feel weird, you tell me, right away. 758 00:45:35,994 --> 00:45:38,039 - Okay, mom. - Pinky promise. 759 00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:44,176 Okay, poopy. 760 00:45:44,219 --> 00:45:45,873 Muah. 761 00:46:01,323 --> 00:46:05,153 It was the most horrendous experience. 762 00:46:06,198 --> 00:46:09,767 And he was doing like these weird movements with his mouth. 763 00:46:10,811 --> 00:46:12,813 Do you feel okay? 764 00:46:12,857 --> 00:46:13,945 Yes or no? 765 00:46:15,947 --> 00:46:17,818 You feel weird or anything? 766 00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:24,607 Very quiet, not really talking. 767 00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:33,616 He was focused on drawing this one thing for a really long time. 768 00:46:34,879 --> 00:46:38,796 And every time I would try to pull him away from it, he couldn't. 769 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:45,411 It was almost like he was like in another world. 770 00:46:52,940 --> 00:46:55,290 Hey, Bear! 771 00:46:55,334 --> 00:47:00,382 So, now I'm thinking maybe this medication is not... is not right for him. 772 00:47:01,296 --> 00:47:04,212 Everyone talks about how quiet he is 773 00:47:04,256 --> 00:47:07,476 and, you know, he's not really that engaging. 774 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,523 And that's not like Bear at all. 775 00:47:10,566 --> 00:47:14,048 I just called his, um, doctor 776 00:47:14,092 --> 00:47:20,446 to see if, um, I can get an emergency appointment this week, um, right away. 777 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,537 Side effects were just not... it's not worth it. 778 00:47:25,930 --> 00:47:30,151 Unfortunately, the state of the science is trial and error. 779 00:47:30,195 --> 00:47:34,503 We don't know in advance which medication will work for what person. 780 00:47:34,547 --> 00:47:38,812 With my patients if they say I'm not fun anymore, I want to tinker with it 781 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:43,643 uh, tweak it to get target symptom relief with no negative side effects. 782 00:47:45,645 --> 00:47:47,908 Of course, like all medicines, 783 00:47:47,952 --> 00:47:50,606 I mean, stimulant medications come with side effects. 784 00:47:51,607 --> 00:47:52,957 To be honest, I feel a little jittery. 785 00:47:54,436 --> 00:47:56,438 Like, my heart feels a little racy. 786 00:47:57,526 --> 00:47:59,398 They have appetite suppression. 787 00:47:59,441 --> 00:48:01,704 So, they don't eat as much. 788 00:48:05,926 --> 00:48:08,929 Insomnia, so they... they stay up later than they ordinarily would have. 789 00:48:08,973 --> 00:48:12,063 I don't feel like myself or it hurts my personality. 790 00:48:12,977 --> 00:48:17,024 But 80% of the time, it's positive without side effects. 791 00:48:17,068 --> 00:48:20,158 If you see a doctor, who knows how to manage it. 792 00:48:20,201 --> 00:48:25,772 Where we are rock solid, affirmative on, with no exception, 793 00:48:25,815 --> 00:48:29,036 is that by staying on these medications, 794 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,648 we are not predisposing you to becoming a drug user. 795 00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,304 There is one fix students are turning to 796 00:48:36,348 --> 00:48:38,393 at an alarming rate to get ahead. 797 00:48:38,437 --> 00:48:42,093 Personally, in my social circle, it's literally everyone. 798 00:48:42,136 --> 00:48:44,617 We know they're being abused by college students, 799 00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:47,315 who feel that they're smart pills or focus pills. 800 00:48:47,359 --> 00:48:50,797 For individuals, who do not have ADHD, they'll feel that high. 801 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,321 And so, we find that there's some abuse, 802 00:48:53,365 --> 00:48:57,151 especially among college age students who are not ADHD. 803 00:48:59,632 --> 00:49:03,636 But for the ADHD child, it sort of calms them. 804 00:49:07,292 --> 00:49:11,296 There is more research on the medicines we use for treating ADHD 805 00:49:11,339 --> 00:49:15,343 than there is on any other medicine you or anybody else will ever take. 806 00:49:16,301 --> 00:49:20,261 And the reason that there're so many studies on it is we use them with kids. 807 00:49:21,262 --> 00:49:25,136 But it gets turned into a passionate debate 808 00:49:25,179 --> 00:49:27,051 and people attacking other people and... 809 00:49:27,094 --> 00:49:29,053 Maybe there are too many kids on Ritalin, 810 00:49:29,096 --> 00:49:31,142 - maybe electric shock-- - How many kids on Ritalin, Matt? 811 00:49:31,185 --> 00:49:33,927 I'm just saying, but... but aren't there examples where it works? 812 00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:36,190 Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even... 813 00:49:36,234 --> 00:49:38,410 You're glim, you don't even know what Ritalin is. 814 00:49:38,453 --> 00:49:41,848 You know you're a bad person because you take medication 815 00:49:41,891 --> 00:49:45,112 or you're a bad doctor because you prescribe medication. 816 00:49:45,156 --> 00:49:46,984 There has been a rush to prescribe 817 00:49:47,027 --> 00:49:49,812 for conditions which may or may not be ADHD. 818 00:49:49,856 --> 00:49:52,119 It seems to be sloppy medicine. 819 00:49:53,033 --> 00:49:57,385 That's just... It's wrong and it's hurtful and it's born out of ignorance. 820 00:50:04,175 --> 00:50:10,877 These drugs are nowhere near as harmful as the media have made them out to be. 821 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,227 So, you've been scared unnecessarily 822 00:50:13,271 --> 00:50:18,711 by overly sensationalized stories about the hazards of these medications. 823 00:50:20,974 --> 00:50:22,584 I think it's a very personal choice. 824 00:50:22,628 --> 00:50:24,369 But it's important to know the evidence. 825 00:50:24,412 --> 00:50:28,503 And the evidence says medication can be incredibly helpful. 826 00:50:28,547 --> 00:50:30,549 It can help with educational outcomes. 827 00:50:30,592 --> 00:50:33,160 It can help with avoiding substance use problems. 828 00:50:33,204 --> 00:50:35,989 It can help with social function. 829 00:50:37,947 --> 00:50:40,602 - Did you take your Adderall? - Yeah, I took my Adderall. 830 00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:48,262 I don't want to medicate a child because it's easier for me, 831 00:50:48,306 --> 00:50:52,353 or easier for the school or easier for the teacher. 832 00:50:52,397 --> 00:50:56,662 I think in sixth grade he... he was starting to notice. 833 00:50:57,706 --> 00:51:02,276 I'm trying to have friends and I'm trying to not get up in people's space 834 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:06,193 and, um, I'm not able to not do that. 835 00:51:10,937 --> 00:51:15,594 He wanted the medicine and he was the one that said, "I think, if I have it, my..." 836 00:51:15,637 --> 00:51:18,249 He said, "I think my friends and my teachers will like me better." 837 00:51:26,387 --> 00:51:31,479 Dopamine is a brain chemical and dopamine has two functions. 838 00:51:31,523 --> 00:51:34,003 It has the function of concentration, 839 00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:37,790 but also, it has the function of euphoria. 840 00:51:38,747 --> 00:51:41,924 We don't have the dopamine that other people have. 841 00:51:41,968 --> 00:51:45,580 We don't have the pleasure that other people have in ordinary life. 842 00:51:45,624 --> 00:51:47,713 But it's this... this basic feeling 843 00:51:47,756 --> 00:51:51,847 of I need to change how I feel inside 844 00:51:51,891 --> 00:51:56,113 that drives it, and you can't get rid of that. That's the way we're wired. 845 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,203 Dopamine governs the reward system. 846 00:51:59,246 --> 00:52:01,553 And if dopamine isn't working right, 847 00:52:01,596 --> 00:52:04,469 that'll make it hard for the reward system to work right. 848 00:52:04,512 --> 00:52:07,167 What the brain imaging research has shown 849 00:52:07,211 --> 00:52:10,779 is that children's brains respond differently to reward when they have ADHD. 850 00:52:12,912 --> 00:52:17,482 Medication allows there to be more circulating free dopamine. 851 00:52:17,525 --> 00:52:21,747 By either blocking the pumps that suck up the dopamine 852 00:52:21,790 --> 00:52:26,230 in the ADHD brain or by increasing production. 853 00:52:29,798 --> 00:52:33,324 And what they saw was that children who had been taking medication 854 00:52:33,367 --> 00:52:35,543 for their ADHD symptoms, 855 00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:37,589 had better reward processing 856 00:52:37,632 --> 00:52:40,983 than the children who had ADHD and were not taking medication. 857 00:52:41,027 --> 00:52:43,072 And this was true, 858 00:52:43,116 --> 00:52:45,423 even though, they were not on their medication at the time of the brain scan. 859 00:52:47,294 --> 00:52:50,341 We now have 35 studies 860 00:52:50,384 --> 00:52:52,473 showing that stimulant medications 861 00:52:52,517 --> 00:52:57,478 used over several years of time help the brain to become normal. 862 00:52:57,522 --> 00:53:00,829 Help these areas of the brain that are less developed, 863 00:53:00,873 --> 00:53:05,138 less wired, less functional, to literally grow. 864 00:53:07,271 --> 00:53:12,189 Now, in no way am I saying medication is the end all and be all, no way. 865 00:53:13,842 --> 00:53:17,846 Therapy, structure, coaching, all of that very important. 866 00:53:20,893 --> 00:53:24,375 The therapy that used to be so effective, 867 00:53:24,418 --> 00:53:27,813 has fallen by the wayside with respect to this diagnosis. 868 00:53:27,856 --> 00:53:31,773 So, family therapy works, individual therapy works. 869 00:53:31,817 --> 00:53:36,996 And, unfortunately, those are being prescribed less and less. 870 00:53:37,039 --> 00:53:39,216 - You are getting your allowance. - Mm-hmm. 871 00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:40,826 So, you buying stuff for your game? 872 00:53:40,869 --> 00:53:43,394 I'm also saving up. I'm saving up for a PC... 873 00:53:43,437 --> 00:53:45,657 - Oh, yeah. - ...and monitor. - Yeah, you've told me that. 874 00:53:45,700 --> 00:53:49,791 So, when I say we're going to do everything without medication, 875 00:53:49,835 --> 00:53:51,924 this is what we're going to... this is what I'm talking about. 876 00:53:51,967 --> 00:53:56,233 I want you to take a couple. So, because... Smell that. 877 00:53:56,276 --> 00:53:57,973 - Just bubble gum. - Mm. 878 00:53:58,017 --> 00:53:59,758 And so, when you write with that, and when you erase, 879 00:53:59,801 --> 00:54:02,064 it smells like bubble gum, and it stimulates your dopamine. 880 00:54:02,108 --> 00:54:03,631 Oh, I love the scent of bubblegum. 881 00:54:03,675 --> 00:54:05,198 So, you're gonna take this one and practice. 882 00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:07,418 - Okay. - And I want you to write your... 883 00:54:07,461 --> 00:54:10,899 Zara is currently not taking any medication for ADHD. 884 00:54:10,943 --> 00:54:16,296 I believe that we should exhaust all other venues and options and strategies 885 00:54:16,340 --> 00:54:21,214 that are out there before we can actually resort to medication. 886 00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:23,085 That would be our last resort. 887 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:30,005 I personally feel that it is always better 888 00:54:30,049 --> 00:54:35,837 to be doing behavioral work with a child teaching, workarounds and coping tools, 889 00:54:35,881 --> 00:54:38,840 at the same time that you are using medication 890 00:54:38,884 --> 00:54:42,931 because those things will last forever. 891 00:54:42,975 --> 00:54:44,846 Those are things that a child can incorporate 892 00:54:44,890 --> 00:54:48,241 and continue to use long after they've stopped medication. 893 00:54:55,857 --> 00:54:57,990 Heh, you're so silly. 894 00:54:58,033 --> 00:55:00,601 And when I took Bear off the Concerta, 895 00:55:00,645 --> 00:55:04,213 he didn't have any medication for maybe about a week or two. 896 00:55:04,257 --> 00:55:09,306 And, um, his teacher was very shocked 897 00:55:09,349 --> 00:55:12,352 at how different he was off the medication. 898 00:55:12,396 --> 00:55:14,876 Is it opening? Here we go. 899 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:19,620 And she said it was a little bit more difficult to, uh, follow instructions 900 00:55:19,664 --> 00:55:22,623 and I guess participate in the class. 901 00:55:22,667 --> 00:55:23,798 Okay. 902 00:55:25,191 --> 00:55:30,762 I contacted the children's psychiatrist department 903 00:55:30,805 --> 00:55:35,201 to see if I could possibly, uh, meet with a child psych 904 00:55:35,244 --> 00:55:38,378 who can really help with the medication management, 905 00:55:38,422 --> 00:55:42,121 um, figuring out the right medicine for him, 906 00:55:42,164 --> 00:55:47,039 'cause my doctor that Bear has been seeing does not specialize in children. 907 00:55:47,082 --> 00:55:51,086 So, I think that may have also been a challenge but they're full. 908 00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:55,569 We have good treatments to... to help people all over the world. 909 00:55:55,613 --> 00:55:58,267 And far too few people get them. 910 00:55:58,311 --> 00:56:00,748 Far too few people get the information they need. 911 00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:03,316 Far too few people have access to treatment. 912 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,971 Far too few people have access to affordable treatment, 913 00:56:06,014 --> 00:56:09,627 or can afford it, uh, for long enough for it to be effective. 914 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:20,986 Good afternoon. - Please get out your Pro/ - Con Self-Driving Car article. 915 00:56:21,029 --> 00:56:23,554 I would get to sit on the hallway a lot. 916 00:56:23,597 --> 00:56:25,120 Welcome, Rece! 917 00:56:25,164 --> 00:56:27,079 Because I would do certain things 918 00:56:27,122 --> 00:56:29,037 that the teacher would think would be bad. 919 00:56:29,081 --> 00:56:30,865 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 920 00:56:30,909 --> 00:56:35,870 you need your blue article from last night and yesterday. 921 00:56:35,914 --> 00:56:37,350 I would blur it out a lot. 922 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,787 A lot of times it was from talking. 923 00:56:39,831 --> 00:56:45,489 My butt was like imprinted on the seat in the principal's office as well. So... 924 00:56:45,532 --> 00:56:48,622 Who says, no? Rece, why did you say no? 925 00:56:48,666 --> 00:56:50,450 Um, I said because it's computer. 926 00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,496 Somebody might be able to hack into it 927 00:56:52,539 --> 00:56:54,802 and drive you somewhere else or like maybe drive you off a cliff. 928 00:56:54,846 --> 00:56:58,197 Drive you off a cliff? You know I don't know, maybe. Okay, so... 929 00:56:58,240 --> 00:57:01,374 Elementary school was definitely a challenge. 930 00:57:03,507 --> 00:57:07,554 He would be outside like the teacher forgot him a few times outside. 931 00:57:07,598 --> 00:57:09,774 So, he would be missing instruction. 932 00:57:09,817 --> 00:57:12,037 Right, missing instructions and then he'd be behind. 933 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,126 When evidently there was comments being made 934 00:57:14,169 --> 00:57:16,302 about, you know, Rece is in the hall again. 935 00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:21,307 The kids picked up on it, they didn't want to be near him. 936 00:57:21,350 --> 00:57:22,961 So, then they're bullying him. 937 00:57:23,004 --> 00:57:24,702 And they would try to get him in trouble. 938 00:57:25,703 --> 00:57:28,532 They like, here, let's see Rece the handle. 939 00:57:30,925 --> 00:57:33,275 I was called all kinds of things 940 00:57:33,319 --> 00:57:36,453 from idiot to class clown to moron. 941 00:57:37,497 --> 00:57:39,238 And you get used to that. 942 00:57:39,281 --> 00:57:41,849 But a lot of times, 943 00:57:41,893 --> 00:57:46,375 you will find, uh, most teachers just don't have the patience to deal with you. 944 00:57:46,419 --> 00:57:50,118 And so, I spent a lot of time in the hallway, 945 00:57:50,162 --> 00:57:52,817 uh, just sitting, listening to everybody learn, 946 00:57:52,860 --> 00:57:56,473 um, which makes you start to feel like you've, uh... 947 00:57:57,865 --> 00:57:58,910 Well, you're not normal. 948 00:58:00,825 --> 00:58:03,088 For kids with ADHD, 949 00:58:03,131 --> 00:58:08,136 the impact of the distractibility and impulsivity is emotional. 950 00:58:08,180 --> 00:58:11,313 It is the feeling that they are different. 951 00:58:11,357 --> 00:58:14,055 Like they're bad kids with bad minds. 952 00:58:14,099 --> 00:58:18,973 And that impact on their self-esteem has a huge emotional toll. 953 00:58:22,542 --> 00:58:25,066 It is silent. 954 00:58:25,110 --> 00:58:31,290 There's no sign that says, "I have ADHD and right now I can't concentrate. Help me!" 955 00:58:31,333 --> 00:58:34,293 Like, I've one teacher who I ain't gotta say any names. 956 00:58:36,382 --> 00:58:41,518 I got in trouble for tapping a pencil or stuff like that. 957 00:58:43,302 --> 00:58:45,217 How many principal calls did we get last year? 958 00:58:46,348 --> 00:58:48,786 Oh, my God, sorry. 959 00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:51,615 I... I'm tired of apologizing for him. 960 00:58:53,225 --> 00:58:57,577 Can I get a phone call that says, "Hey, he had a great day, today." 961 00:58:57,621 --> 00:58:58,926 - We don't get those. - We got one. 962 00:58:58,970 --> 00:59:00,537 We did. We got a postcard. 963 00:59:03,191 --> 00:59:05,716 I think one of the hardest things with ADHD 964 00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:11,199 is how every time they hear "no" or "stop", 965 00:59:11,243 --> 00:59:14,594 or you got to, you know, whatever the issue is, 966 00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:18,816 it holds away at their self-esteem. 967 00:59:18,859 --> 00:59:21,949 I mean, Rece says it, he's so used to being in trouble 968 00:59:21,993 --> 00:59:23,647 it doesn't really bother him anymore. 969 00:59:23,690 --> 00:59:26,432 You shouldn't be used to that. 970 00:59:27,651 --> 00:59:28,695 Right? 971 00:59:31,916 --> 00:59:36,268 I'm not trying to be rude. I'm not trying to be mean. 972 00:59:36,311 --> 00:59:39,576 I'm just trying to have fun, try to make you laugh. 973 00:59:41,795 --> 00:59:45,146 And... Yeah, it's all I can say. 974 00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:50,630 One of the things I did in... in school was, I called, uh, 975 00:59:50,674 --> 00:59:52,719 through the Yellow Pages, and I called a construction company. 976 00:59:54,286 --> 00:59:56,505 And I said... And I used my name and everything 977 00:59:56,549 --> 00:59:58,943 because I don't think of the ramifications. 978 00:59:58,986 --> 01:00:01,815 I'd like you to come over and measure for an addition onto the library, 979 01:00:01,859 --> 01:00:03,991 and I'm at 3 o'clock and I made this appointment. 980 01:00:04,035 --> 01:00:06,167 I thought that was really funny. I didn't have a friend in the world. 981 01:00:06,211 --> 01:00:08,909 I mean, it was fun because when I was in math class, 982 01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:12,260 I see this guy out on the field measuring. 983 01:00:12,304 --> 01:00:14,262 And then, I see the... the vice principal go out 984 01:00:14,306 --> 01:00:16,438 and ask him what he's doing. 985 01:00:16,482 --> 01:00:18,049 Then I hear, "Well, Howard Mandel, please come to the office." 986 01:00:20,181 --> 01:00:22,444 And I go to the office, and he very sternly looks down at me. 987 01:00:22,488 --> 01:00:25,883 And he goes, "Did you hire a contractor to put an addition onto the library?" 988 01:00:25,926 --> 01:00:28,581 And I just said, "Yes." 989 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:32,150 And he said, "Well, that... You can't do that." 990 01:00:32,193 --> 01:00:36,937 And I said, "Wait, I'm getting... I'm gonna get three bids." 991 01:00:36,981 --> 01:00:38,678 He said, "Just sit down! Just sit down!" 992 01:00:38,722 --> 01:00:41,681 I sat down. They called my parents. 993 01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:43,465 I don't know what he expected my parents to do. 994 01:00:43,509 --> 01:00:46,555 We told them never to hire construction firms. 995 01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:48,906 And they asked me to leave the school eventually, 996 01:00:48,949 --> 01:00:52,910 and I was thrown out of... I don't have a GED. And that really was bothersome. 997 01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:56,478 But my parents always laughed where it was funny. 998 01:00:56,522 --> 01:00:58,437 Always hugged me when I needed it. 999 01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:00,482 And, you know, that was enough. 1000 01:01:00,526 --> 01:01:04,661 That was really enough to get me to where I am today. 1001 01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:06,793 I just felt they were my safety net. 1002 01:01:08,577 --> 01:01:09,709 - Two. - Three. 1003 01:01:09,753 --> 01:01:10,841 - Four. - Five. 1004 01:01:10,884 --> 01:01:12,146 - Six. - Seven. 1005 01:01:12,190 --> 01:01:14,235 - Eight. - Nine. - Ten. 1006 01:01:14,279 --> 01:01:15,280 - One. - Two. 1007 01:01:15,323 --> 01:01:16,281 - Three. - Four. 1008 01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:17,499 - Five. - Six. 1009 01:01:17,543 --> 01:01:18,936 - Seven. - Eight. 1010 01:01:18,979 --> 01:01:21,155 - Nine. - Ten. - Awesome. 1011 01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:23,723 Rece really loves to make people happy and to make them laugh. 1012 01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:25,290 - Shot. - Elena! 1013 01:01:25,333 --> 01:01:27,727 - Stop making everything... - Shot! Go. 1014 01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:29,076 But he's so competitive. 1015 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,383 - You know what? - No, we have... we have two. 1016 01:01:32,950 --> 01:01:34,821 I made two baskets. 1017 01:01:34,865 --> 01:01:37,041 - Yes. - So, it's two-two. Two-two. 1018 01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:39,478 - Yes, I did. Stop cheating. - Two-two. 1019 01:01:39,521 --> 01:01:41,741 You know he has a very hard time... 1020 01:01:41,785 --> 01:01:44,352 - Go get it! - ...distinguishing between a place 1021 01:01:44,396 --> 01:01:46,833 where he should be competitive and a place where he should just be having fun. 1022 01:01:46,877 --> 01:01:48,617 - Next point wins. - Yeah. 1023 01:01:51,664 --> 01:01:54,101 - No, you guys have four right now. - Next point wins. 1024 01:01:55,494 --> 01:01:57,626 No! 1025 01:01:57,670 --> 01:02:01,761 As a parent, the thing that bothers me the most are the friend issues. 1026 01:02:01,805 --> 01:02:04,285 Rylie, you're out. Mekhela got you out. 1027 01:02:04,329 --> 01:02:07,462 Socially in middle school is a particular challenge. 1028 01:02:07,506 --> 01:02:10,901 And one of the challenges with ADHD children 1029 01:02:10,944 --> 01:02:15,253 is they don't really get the nuances of relationships 1030 01:02:15,296 --> 01:02:17,646 and so they tend to not have a lot of friends. 1031 01:02:19,126 --> 01:02:21,128 - Winners rotate! - No! You... 1032 01:02:21,172 --> 01:02:22,434 Do you need a partner? 1033 01:02:22,477 --> 01:02:23,827 Those with points just go onto the next fence. 1034 01:02:23,870 --> 01:02:25,350 - We won but whatever. - Ken, are you fine? 1035 01:02:25,393 --> 01:02:26,568 Come on, hon! 1036 01:02:26,612 --> 01:02:28,570 You guys cheated three times. 1037 01:02:28,614 --> 01:02:30,790 It has always been a problem for me, my friends, 1038 01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:33,488 because I'll always come out with a bad first impression. 1039 01:02:33,532 --> 01:02:37,405 She'd be like, "Wow, he's really annoying or something like that." 1040 01:02:37,449 --> 01:02:41,714 To see Rece struggle getting along, you know, it kind of breaks my heart 1041 01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:44,935 because I want him to... I want him to have good relationships. 1042 01:02:44,978 --> 01:02:47,764 I want him to have meaningful friendships. 1043 01:02:52,290 --> 01:02:55,597 They can be obnoxious without meaning to be. So, the friend walks away. 1044 01:02:55,641 --> 01:02:57,382 They can think they're being funny. 1045 01:02:57,425 --> 01:02:59,210 They can think they're being enthusiastic. 1046 01:02:59,253 --> 01:03:00,733 When, in fact, they're dominating, 1047 01:03:00,777 --> 01:03:03,649 they're butting in, they're controlling. 1048 01:03:03,692 --> 01:03:06,521 You better not miss, Elena. Oh, go get it. Go get it. 1049 01:03:06,565 --> 01:03:09,611 They're having it their way, they're not cooperating they're not empathizing, 1050 01:03:09,655 --> 01:03:12,136 simply because they're oblivious to it. 1051 01:03:16,967 --> 01:03:20,274 But the number one thing that kids with ADHD are gonna have trouble with is, 1052 01:03:20,318 --> 01:03:22,886 schoolwork, plain and simple. 1053 01:03:22,929 --> 01:03:26,715 Guys, you're all gonna get your journal, get your pencil, get your calculator. Let's go. 1054 01:03:26,759 --> 01:03:28,935 Hi! Hello! 1055 01:03:28,979 --> 01:03:31,895 In most schools, it's pretty lockstep prescribed curriculum. 1056 01:03:31,938 --> 01:03:36,595 Memorize, repeat, hand back to me what I told you to. 1057 01:03:36,638 --> 01:03:38,989 It's... it's deadening for people with ADD. 1058 01:03:40,381 --> 01:03:47,345 We've moved to a sort of industrial assembly line approach to education. 1059 01:03:47,388 --> 01:03:51,610 And we fail to respect the individuality of our children 1060 01:03:51,653 --> 01:03:54,221 and where they are in this ready... in this to learn. 1061 01:03:54,265 --> 01:03:56,354 And how much they know or don't know, 1062 01:03:56,397 --> 01:04:00,140 and how much assistance they might need in acquiring that information. 1063 01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:04,405 The ADHD brain is known to be a more creative, 1064 01:04:04,449 --> 01:04:08,888 more out of the box, problem-solving, imaginative, curious brain, 1065 01:04:08,932 --> 01:04:11,978 which doesn't always coincide with a traditional school setting. 1066 01:04:12,936 --> 01:04:14,546 You know, the teachers kept on saying that, 1067 01:04:14,589 --> 01:04:17,375 "You know, it's hard to handle him in the classroom. 1068 01:04:17,418 --> 01:04:19,246 "Always bouncing off the wall." 1069 01:04:21,727 --> 01:04:27,385 It was my teacher, Mr. Ray, really encouraged me to accept my hyperactivity, 1070 01:04:27,428 --> 01:04:33,260 accept my unique way of looking at the world, and creative problem solving. 1071 01:04:33,304 --> 01:04:38,439 I was always better in school when it was an activity, P.E., 1072 01:04:38,483 --> 01:04:42,530 demonstrations, I love that, geometry. 1073 01:04:43,531 --> 01:04:45,403 All zeros. 1074 01:04:45,446 --> 01:04:47,666 I didn't understand. 1075 01:04:47,709 --> 01:04:51,975 Why doesn't this picture become clear to me? Like, it does to other kids. 1076 01:04:52,018 --> 01:04:56,327 I remember like it was yesterday. Having the right intention, 1077 01:04:56,370 --> 01:05:03,160 wanting to do well and just knowing it was absolutely impossible. 1078 01:05:03,203 --> 01:05:06,293 I would literally just miss entire days. 1079 01:05:06,337 --> 01:05:08,252 I would sleep in the back of my car in the morning 1080 01:05:08,295 --> 01:05:12,734 and miss the first couple of... of hours of school. 1081 01:05:12,778 --> 01:05:15,476 Eh, you know if I didn't like the class, I just wouldn't go. 1082 01:05:20,003 --> 01:05:22,179 Kids with ADHD are much more likely to miss classes. 1083 01:05:22,222 --> 01:05:23,920 They're much more likely to be truant. 1084 01:05:23,963 --> 01:05:25,791 They're much more likely to drop out of school. 1085 01:05:25,834 --> 01:05:27,445 They're much more likely to fail academically. 1086 01:05:29,969 --> 01:05:32,885 Unfortunately, those children tend to be segwayed into other pathways, 1087 01:05:32,929 --> 01:05:34,365 special education, 1088 01:05:34,408 --> 01:05:36,758 before there's been any real treatment. 1089 01:05:36,802 --> 01:05:40,414 Um, they might also end up, unfortunately, in the Juvenile Justice System. 1090 01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:46,203 This week I got suspended from school for some stuff that I did. 1091 01:05:46,246 --> 01:05:48,988 I was just kind of messing around in class, um... 1092 01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:53,514 I got a call from a police officer Friday afternoon, 3:30. 1093 01:05:55,299 --> 01:05:59,607 What happened was that he was walking down the hall playing with a friend. 1094 01:05:59,651 --> 01:06:02,393 They were kind of pushing each other, horse play. 1095 01:06:02,436 --> 01:06:06,223 And that kid like pushes Hogan against the wall. 1096 01:06:06,266 --> 01:06:10,618 And, um, Hogan comes back, and pushes him because it hurt. 1097 01:06:10,662 --> 01:06:13,012 And then that kid just popped him in the face. 1098 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:15,188 And Hogan is about to start crying. 1099 01:06:15,232 --> 01:06:19,540 He's in the middle of the hallway. And he's embarrassed. 1100 01:06:19,584 --> 01:06:22,021 Like, his thought is, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and cool off, 1101 01:06:22,065 --> 01:06:24,197 and then I'm going to go to class. 1102 01:06:24,241 --> 01:06:26,939 But the teacher says, "No, you can't go." 1103 01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:32,640 He keeps walking in with his head down. And then she blocks the door. 1104 01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:35,861 Yeah, kind of holds that with her hand and he just keeps going. 1105 01:06:35,904 --> 01:06:38,342 - Kept walking through. - Yeah. Right. 1106 01:06:38,385 --> 01:06:41,998 - Um, and she pressed charges on him. - Mm-hmm. 1107 01:06:47,612 --> 01:06:54,532 He certainly didn't want anyone to get hurt, wasn't trying to push an adult. 1108 01:06:54,575 --> 01:06:58,753 I think for him, it was more just like, "How did this happen? 1109 01:06:59,841 --> 01:07:01,756 "I got punched in the face. 1110 01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,672 "The next thing I know, I'm in Juvenile Detention." 1111 01:07:06,805 --> 01:07:11,331 A person at the Juvenile Detention Center comes out and says, 1112 01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:12,941 he'll be here all weekend. 1113 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:17,598 I'm thinking like a kid who's only spent the night at his grandparents' house, 1114 01:07:17,642 --> 01:07:21,950 our house, a hotel or two and now he's here. 1115 01:07:21,994 --> 01:07:25,171 Just unbelievable. 1116 01:07:28,435 --> 01:07:31,308 And you're going, "Gosh, is this... is this the first time 1117 01:07:31,351 --> 01:07:33,614 "or is this the last time?" 1118 01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:36,008 That's what's worrisome because once you get into that system, 1119 01:07:36,052 --> 01:07:39,577 you never get the benefit of the doubt from that point forward. 1120 01:07:40,882 --> 01:07:42,362 Whether he did it or not... 1121 01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:46,410 he still gets a placement outside of school. 1122 01:07:46,453 --> 01:07:48,412 So, he goes to the alternative school, 1123 01:07:48,455 --> 01:07:51,023 because he's got a "pending charge". 1124 01:07:52,416 --> 01:07:55,201 So, now we're taking him out of this school, 1125 01:07:55,245 --> 01:07:58,378 to this alternative school, which is just... 1126 01:07:58,422 --> 01:08:01,642 - Oh, it's like a mini prison. - It's a mini... It is a prison. Like it's a mini prison. 1127 01:08:03,949 --> 01:08:05,603 So, he's going there every day. 1128 01:08:07,561 --> 01:08:09,215 - And I think in our perspective... - Mm-hmm. 1129 01:08:09,259 --> 01:08:11,957 - ...I always felt like they're just trying to punish... - Mm-hmm. 1130 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,698 - ...punish the ADHD child. - Yeah, punish it out of it. 1131 01:08:13,741 --> 01:08:14,873 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1132 01:08:14,916 --> 01:08:17,136 If we just punish him enough, 1133 01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:21,967 - he will eventually stop or we can send him away. - Mm-hmm. 1134 01:08:24,622 --> 01:08:27,233 It's really hard at school 1135 01:08:27,277 --> 01:08:30,367 because you can't like talk at all there unless you like have permission to. 1136 01:08:30,410 --> 01:08:33,718 So, since I talk a lot, it's really hard for me to focus on that. 1137 01:08:33,761 --> 01:08:35,328 And I have to do like a lot of things. 1138 01:08:35,372 --> 01:08:37,113 I'm getting ready to do that I don't really want to do, 1139 01:08:37,156 --> 01:08:39,419 but I kind of have to do, like, clipping my nails 1140 01:08:39,463 --> 01:08:41,552 or cutting my hair to a certain length 1141 01:08:41,595 --> 01:08:43,989 and keeping it out of my eyes all day. 1142 01:08:44,032 --> 01:08:47,079 And the fact that if I don't do these things, I get punished for it. 1143 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:48,341 It just doesn't feel right. 1144 01:08:50,952 --> 01:08:56,349 I can see there's such fine line where he could just fall on either side. 1145 01:08:58,743 --> 01:09:01,180 Like, gosh, that's not what you want for your kid. 1146 01:09:01,224 --> 01:09:04,575 You don't want them in trouble with the law or in and out of prison. 1147 01:09:04,618 --> 01:09:05,750 But, um... 1148 01:09:07,099 --> 01:09:09,406 - that... that's my biggest fear for him. - Mm-hmm. 1149 01:09:10,276 --> 01:09:12,017 - That he won't make it. - Yeah. 1150 01:09:17,762 --> 01:09:21,461 I remember this guy I was hanging around with. 1151 01:09:21,505 --> 01:09:25,161 He said, "Let's go, rob this lady's house." 1152 01:09:25,204 --> 01:09:28,033 And I went with him to rob the person's house. 1153 01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:31,776 Now if we got caught, how much trouble will I've gotten in? 1154 01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:34,561 But I didn't have the inhibitors to say, 1155 01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:37,216 "Well, yes, it's not a bad idea. Let's go rob the house." 1156 01:09:37,260 --> 01:09:40,915 You just... In the moment, you just don't think about consequence. 1157 01:09:43,135 --> 01:09:47,531 The fact that 25% of prison populations are saying they have ADHD 1158 01:09:47,574 --> 01:09:51,056 it's because we fail as a society on many, many levels 1159 01:09:51,099 --> 01:09:53,232 to treat or provide support. 1160 01:09:53,276 --> 01:09:57,584 Particularly for, uh, communities that are the most under-resourced 1161 01:09:57,628 --> 01:10:01,806 and thus end up only really discovering their ADHD 1162 01:10:01,849 --> 01:10:03,503 once they're already incarcerated, 1163 01:10:03,547 --> 01:10:05,331 and that's an absolute tragedy for our country. 1164 01:10:09,814 --> 01:10:12,425 The stakes are really, really high for Zara, 1165 01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:15,080 going into this new school for middle school. 1166 01:10:15,123 --> 01:10:17,082 They taste super good. 1167 01:10:17,125 --> 01:10:19,476 - They taste better than they smell. - Oh, really? 1168 01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:23,915 The way we ended sixth grade was very rough on Zara. 1169 01:10:24,829 --> 01:10:26,744 We all needed a break from school. 1170 01:10:26,787 --> 01:10:29,225 - What time is it? - It's quarter to nine. 1171 01:10:29,268 --> 01:10:34,404 And now she is ready to go back seventh grade, middle school. 1172 01:10:38,016 --> 01:10:43,935 Day two comes and I get a call from her mother, which is the 21st. 1173 01:10:43,978 --> 01:10:46,981 And mother... mom is very upset. Savera is very upset. 1174 01:10:47,025 --> 01:10:50,158 And she says she just received a call from the school, 1175 01:10:50,202 --> 01:10:53,161 keep in mind, this is day two at 8:30 in the morning, 1176 01:10:53,205 --> 01:10:56,121 that Zara had impulsively said something 1177 01:10:56,164 --> 01:10:59,516 on the little tram bus on the way to school 1178 01:10:59,559 --> 01:11:03,302 that the bus driver overheard and brought to the administrator's attention. 1179 01:11:03,346 --> 01:11:05,130 - Hi! - How's it going? 1180 01:11:05,173 --> 01:11:07,175 - I'm good. How are you? - I haven't seen you since school started. 1181 01:11:07,219 --> 01:11:09,743 - Yeah. It's been such a... - So, you know, we got quite a lot to talk about. 1182 01:11:09,787 --> 01:11:11,876 What happened on day two, I know something happened 1183 01:11:11,919 --> 01:11:13,138 - that we need to talk about. - Yeah. 1184 01:11:14,095 --> 01:11:16,359 I remember I was on the bus. 1185 01:11:16,402 --> 01:11:19,057 I was there with a few of my friends. 1186 01:11:19,100 --> 01:11:21,146 Everything was going well 1187 01:11:21,189 --> 01:11:23,322 and then everyone was sharing stories of their experiences, 1188 01:11:23,366 --> 01:11:25,846 their life, their summer, things like that. 1189 01:11:25,890 --> 01:11:28,762 And then I made up this lie just to have a story to tell, 1190 01:11:28,806 --> 01:11:33,898 and it was involving, you know, me taking this course online, 1191 01:11:33,941 --> 01:11:37,771 and lying about my age, and meeting these random people at Starbucks. 1192 01:11:40,383 --> 01:11:44,474 Zara told her new three friends, that she just met yesterday, 1193 01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:50,349 that she was meeting someone after school at Starbucks who doesn't know she's 13. 1194 01:11:50,393 --> 01:11:54,266 What was your plan with why you were making that up? 1195 01:11:54,310 --> 01:11:57,530 Was your plan to make them think you were cool? 1196 01:11:57,574 --> 01:12:00,533 It was attention-seeking behavior. Just to have a story to tell. 1197 01:12:00,577 --> 01:12:02,230 - To have a story to tell? - Yeah. Yeah. 1198 01:12:02,274 --> 01:12:04,668 - So, they would think, you were cool? - Right. 1199 01:12:04,711 --> 01:12:06,757 I... I didn't know what to do. I... I was upset. 1200 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:10,761 And I... I think I just, uh, kind of lost it there. 1201 01:12:10,804 --> 01:12:13,329 I was like, "Oh, no, it's just second day of school. 1202 01:12:13,372 --> 01:12:18,682 And maybe this is just going to kind of lay the foundations of her entire year ahead." 1203 01:12:18,725 --> 01:12:21,946 And, uh, she just kind of messed it up for herself. 1204 01:12:21,989 --> 01:12:24,992 I knew it was wrong, but thinking that, 1205 01:12:25,036 --> 01:12:26,907 "Oh, I could be getting attention 1206 01:12:26,951 --> 01:12:30,781 - "and I can have everyone laughing" replaced that. - Okay. 1207 01:12:30,824 --> 01:12:33,087 I decided to... 1208 01:12:33,131 --> 01:12:36,613 As a mother, I know when to forgive and let go and move on. 1209 01:12:36,656 --> 01:12:38,876 But if it becomes day in-day out 1210 01:12:38,919 --> 01:12:42,793 and you feel like the child is just not learning from their mistakes, 1211 01:12:42,836 --> 01:12:48,102 then, uh... then, yes, that's become a little problematic for me, personally. 1212 01:12:51,628 --> 01:12:54,282 Zara will say anything and you never know what's going to come out. 1213 01:12:55,545 --> 01:12:57,938 But I want her to get the confidence in herself 1214 01:12:57,982 --> 01:13:00,811 to know that she is okay and that she is enough. 1215 01:13:13,563 --> 01:13:17,610 What I see now is there's no way except to push Hogan through the school system. 1216 01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:19,003 There's no alternatives. 1217 01:13:20,961 --> 01:13:23,573 If he could apprentice with somebody, if he had a mentor, 1218 01:13:23,616 --> 01:13:28,447 if he could do an on-the-job training now, I think he'd be successful. 1219 01:13:28,491 --> 01:13:30,623 Which is the new screen and which is the old? 1220 01:13:30,667 --> 01:13:33,147 - This the old one. - That's the old one. 1221 01:13:33,191 --> 01:13:34,888 You're taking off the crystal ball. 1222 01:13:34,932 --> 01:13:36,499 I just need the home button. 1223 01:13:38,849 --> 01:13:43,767 Because he has a lot of skills that in life are great, 1224 01:13:43,810 --> 01:13:48,249 like, to ask questions, to be argumentative, to push boundaries. 1225 01:13:48,293 --> 01:13:50,513 Those are all really great things. 1226 01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:54,473 That is not what teachers want in the classroom though. 1227 01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:57,258 That's seen as disrespectful and non-compliant. 1228 01:13:58,521 --> 01:13:59,957 Oh, yeah. 1229 01:14:02,220 --> 01:14:03,961 We always would call him Mowgli, 1230 01:14:04,004 --> 01:14:06,616 - like, the jungle boy. - Yes. 1231 01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:08,966 Because he... When he goes outside or when we would go with camping, 1232 01:14:09,009 --> 01:14:11,621 it was like, he was in his native land. 1233 01:14:11,664 --> 01:14:14,624 All right. I caught a cat fish. I'm gonna let it go. 1234 01:14:14,667 --> 01:14:17,496 And I always think, "Gosh, if he had been a hunter or a gatherer, 1235 01:14:17,540 --> 01:14:20,151 like, ADHD wouldn't have even... 1236 01:14:20,194 --> 01:14:23,763 "It would have been a good thing to have what he has." 1237 01:14:23,807 --> 01:14:26,418 Don't hurt me, I'm trying to help you. 1238 01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:28,159 I mean, I might look at a stream and think, 1239 01:14:28,202 --> 01:14:31,075 I wonder, if I could catch those fish with my hands. 1240 01:14:31,118 --> 01:14:32,946 I'm gonna walk out there and do it. 1241 01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:34,600 - He does. - Mm-hmm. 1242 01:14:34,644 --> 01:14:36,472 Just grab them with his bare hands. 1243 01:14:36,515 --> 01:14:37,560 Here he is. 1244 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:46,960 It's that kind of non-filter "That looks cool. I'm gonna do it." 1245 01:14:47,004 --> 01:14:49,659 That can get you in a ton of trouble. 1246 01:14:49,702 --> 01:14:53,532 But then it can also put you in positions 1247 01:14:53,576 --> 01:14:57,449 where you kind of do these really cool thing. So... 1248 01:14:58,929 --> 01:15:01,279 - Can you fix my collar? - Mm-hmm. 1249 01:15:03,934 --> 01:15:08,112 I see myself as maybe doing some kind of engineering job or like business owner. 1250 01:15:08,155 --> 01:15:11,376 Like, one day I could manage that and I could really try, 1251 01:15:11,419 --> 01:15:13,639 and I feel like I could do really good things. 1252 01:15:18,688 --> 01:15:21,517 Try to get around you. It's the easiest thing ever. 1253 01:15:45,628 --> 01:15:49,849 The diagnosis was permission to be the things that I am. 1254 01:15:51,677 --> 01:15:55,159 And not call them flawed but call them what they are, 1255 01:15:55,202 --> 01:15:58,292 and understand that some of them need to be managed. 1256 01:15:58,336 --> 01:16:01,382 And some of them need to be accelerated. 1257 01:16:06,649 --> 01:16:10,348 The diagnosis has also just made me a better human to my child. 1258 01:16:12,393 --> 01:16:15,571 I can relate as long as I take two seconds to look... 1259 01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:18,835 look at what the kid version versus the adult version looks like. 1260 01:16:18,878 --> 01:16:20,750 All right. Let's have a seat. Let's see. 1261 01:16:20,793 --> 01:16:22,490 Keep her perch. 1262 01:16:22,534 --> 01:16:25,015 Keep her... Did we bring a bucket? 1263 01:16:25,058 --> 01:16:26,973 - Did we bring a bucket? - No, it's fine. It's fine. 1264 01:16:27,017 --> 01:16:29,280 - We can just keep... - Oh, my, God, Nicholas, I knew that might be the... 1265 01:16:29,323 --> 01:16:35,721 And I also... I look at him with this intense hope. 1266 01:16:43,816 --> 01:16:47,211 - Hi! - How are you? 1267 01:16:47,254 --> 01:16:49,953 - I'm good. How are you? - I'm great. 1268 01:16:49,996 --> 01:16:53,086 - How is the school you're going? - Good. 1269 01:16:54,697 --> 01:16:59,615 I realized that if I wanted things to change, I had to follow a routine. 1270 01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:04,010 And I've started taking more initiative of my life 1271 01:17:04,054 --> 01:17:06,360 and because of that everything else improved. 1272 01:17:08,188 --> 01:17:11,801 So, I think, Zara, I think this is your pile mostly. I did your laundry. 1273 01:17:12,845 --> 01:17:16,370 Prior to finding out about her ADHD, 1274 01:17:16,414 --> 01:17:22,028 I don't think we... we really had the kind of mother-daughter relationship that I wanted. 1275 01:17:23,551 --> 01:17:27,338 Yeah. I always misconstrued her actions. 1276 01:17:27,381 --> 01:17:30,646 I thought she was trying to provoke me at one point 1277 01:17:30,689 --> 01:17:34,040 that she just enjoyed getting a reaction out of me. 1278 01:17:34,084 --> 01:17:36,521 - Look at you. - You guys can sit there, okay? 1279 01:17:36,564 --> 01:17:39,350 So, you can bring up the wood from there. 1280 01:17:39,393 --> 01:17:43,833 I think we, uh, sometimes were judgmental, 1281 01:17:45,051 --> 01:17:47,358 instead of trying to understand... 1282 01:17:47,401 --> 01:17:48,664 Smile. 1283 01:17:50,753 --> 01:17:52,537 Do you have regrets about how you handled? 1284 01:17:54,060 --> 01:17:54,931 Yes. 1285 01:18:03,679 --> 01:18:06,377 My regrets are that I... I scolded her. 1286 01:18:06,420 --> 01:18:09,293 I, uh, yelled at her. 1287 01:18:11,295 --> 01:18:13,689 Shouted at her and, um... 1288 01:18:16,692 --> 01:18:19,869 and said mean things to her that I shouldn't have. 1289 01:18:19,912 --> 01:18:22,654 Oh, let's go. Oh, oh, oh. 1290 01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:27,790 Had I known this earlier on, I could have handled things very differently. 1291 01:18:27,833 --> 01:18:31,576 Come here, come here. Fetch. 1292 01:18:31,619 --> 01:18:32,969 Tell me, how things are going with mom. 1293 01:18:33,012 --> 01:18:34,753 How's that relationship going? 1294 01:18:34,797 --> 01:18:36,537 That is going actually really well. 1295 01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:40,454 I definitely feel the diagnosis helped her understand me 1296 01:18:40,498 --> 01:18:43,675 and why I do what I do much better than before. 1297 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:46,765 And it's also improved our relationship. 1298 01:18:46,809 --> 01:18:48,636 Wow, well, that is really powerful. 1299 01:18:52,336 --> 01:18:56,514 I, as a parent, have unconditional love for my daughter. 1300 01:18:56,557 --> 01:19:01,258 And what I learned was try to show it more often, 1301 01:19:01,301 --> 01:19:05,044 to make sure she knows that I'm here to support her, 1302 01:19:05,088 --> 01:19:08,787 help her, and make things easier for her. 1303 01:19:08,831 --> 01:19:11,790 And that has changed our relationship, too. 1304 01:19:11,834 --> 01:19:14,097 She's able to share more with me now. 1305 01:19:15,620 --> 01:19:19,711 Through this whole learning I've always told Zara, we're in this together. 1306 01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,191 She's learning, I'm learning. 1307 01:19:22,888 --> 01:19:25,064 I have seen a great deal of resilience in her, too, 1308 01:19:25,108 --> 01:19:30,940 how she handles it so strongly, so bravely, so courageously at her age. 1309 01:19:30,983 --> 01:19:35,248 Zara has made me a better person and a better parent. 1310 01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:40,210 I truly do believe that no matter what 1311 01:19:40,253 --> 01:19:42,299 my kid Zara is going to be exceptional 1312 01:19:42,342 --> 01:19:47,304 because she... she has a good heart. She's extremely smart. 1313 01:19:47,347 --> 01:19:49,436 Just these... these social things 1314 01:19:49,480 --> 01:19:52,048 and she's gonna figure them out, right? Like it's part of growing up. 1315 01:19:52,091 --> 01:19:54,833 You learn and she will, and she's going to do amazing things. 1316 01:19:54,877 --> 01:19:56,008 I have no doubt. 1317 01:20:01,187 --> 01:20:03,973 So, right now school has been going pretty well. 1318 01:20:04,016 --> 01:20:05,452 I've started to... 1319 01:20:05,496 --> 01:20:06,932 Brace yourselves, 1320 01:20:06,976 --> 01:20:09,630 I have started to make friends now. Whoa! 1321 01:20:09,674 --> 01:20:11,415 Whoo! 1322 01:20:11,458 --> 01:20:13,896 Oh! Watch it. 1323 01:20:13,939 --> 01:20:15,811 Yeah! 1324 01:20:21,468 --> 01:20:23,383 I kind of like the way I am 1325 01:20:23,427 --> 01:20:27,213 because I'm not like every other kid 1326 01:20:27,257 --> 01:20:29,085 and I like being different. 1327 01:20:36,266 --> 01:20:37,876 - Come on, Rece. - Come on, Rece. 1328 01:20:40,313 --> 01:20:42,838 I've never really thought of ADHD as something that could hold me back. 1329 01:20:42,881 --> 01:20:45,753 - Come on, Rece. Bam. - Oh, yeah. 1330 01:20:48,234 --> 01:20:50,410 With maturity, and with, 1331 01:20:50,454 --> 01:20:52,935 I think some positive role models, as he gets older. 1332 01:20:55,502 --> 01:20:57,026 I think he's just gonna... 1333 01:20:57,069 --> 01:21:00,594 I mean, it's endless where he can go. 1334 01:21:00,638 --> 01:21:02,161 But he has to keep working at it. 1335 01:21:02,205 --> 01:21:04,076 You know, it's not gonna come easy. 1336 01:21:08,298 --> 01:21:11,344 Who did you play with at recess today? 1337 01:21:11,388 --> 01:21:13,129 Oh. 1338 01:21:13,172 --> 01:21:17,263 First, I played with Lucas, then I played with Adrian. 1339 01:21:17,307 --> 01:21:18,961 - You did? - Uh-huh. 1340 01:21:19,004 --> 01:21:21,572 - Oh, good. - I played with balls. 1341 01:21:21,615 --> 01:21:23,574 Good. That's good. 1342 01:21:23,617 --> 01:21:28,884 I spoke to the doctor again. She told me about Focalin. 1343 01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:34,715 It was very stressful trying to figure out the medication. 1344 01:21:34,759 --> 01:21:40,156 And I just felt so bad that I have to keep trying these different medications on him 1345 01:21:40,199 --> 01:21:42,723 and I still wasn't quite sure of how he was feeling. 1346 01:21:47,728 --> 01:21:49,208 Look! 1347 01:21:49,252 --> 01:21:51,210 What? 1348 01:21:51,254 --> 01:21:52,516 They are cooking. 1349 01:21:53,996 --> 01:21:56,389 This medication has been working awesome. 1350 01:21:58,304 --> 01:22:03,483 He does very well with the... He's still himself. He's just more focused. 1351 01:22:03,527 --> 01:22:05,790 - Is that what you are trying to do? - No. 1352 01:22:05,833 --> 01:22:08,532 - You're trying turn me into a cartoon? - No. 1353 01:22:08,575 --> 01:22:11,796 - Are you sure? - No. I am. 1354 01:22:11,839 --> 01:22:14,233 Bear loves his new school. 1355 01:22:14,277 --> 01:22:19,021 He loves his teacher. He loves the kids in the class. He's doing very well. 1356 01:22:19,064 --> 01:22:22,372 I get nothing but praises from the principal, 1357 01:22:22,415 --> 01:22:24,983 who says she wants to clone him and have more Bears, 1358 01:22:25,027 --> 01:22:29,683 which, you know, at his last school is like the complete opposite. 1359 01:22:29,727 --> 01:22:31,816 - I see you. 1360 01:22:31,859 --> 01:22:35,167 - Hey, how much you wanna bet? 1361 01:22:35,211 --> 01:22:36,429 Taco. 1362 01:22:38,866 --> 01:22:44,960 We have an opportunity to understand that this is a hardwired issue. 1363 01:22:45,003 --> 01:22:47,875 And like any other medical issue, 1364 01:22:47,919 --> 01:22:51,140 there are treatments that can help. 1365 01:22:51,183 --> 01:22:53,620 But that there are special strengths 1366 01:22:53,664 --> 01:22:56,319 that exist in those people with ADHD. 1367 01:22:56,362 --> 01:23:01,063 And we have, I think, a duty and a responsibility to acknowledge that, 1368 01:23:01,106 --> 01:23:03,630 to encourage that, 1369 01:23:03,674 --> 01:23:08,505 and to make them able to use and flourish those particular strengths. 1370 01:23:08,548 --> 01:23:12,596 Not only for themselves and their lives, but for society as a whole. 1371 01:23:13,989 --> 01:23:17,601 If the world could understand, if the teachers and the tutors, and the babysitters, 1372 01:23:17,644 --> 01:23:20,865 and the parents, and school bus drivers could understand, 1373 01:23:20,908 --> 01:23:24,782 this child has these challenge and this strength. 1374 01:23:24,825 --> 01:23:26,262 So, here's how you can help them. 1375 01:23:28,742 --> 01:23:33,182 We found that by recognizing the strengths in our patients of any age, 1376 01:23:33,225 --> 01:23:34,835 they felt a whole lot better. 1377 01:23:35,706 --> 01:23:39,014 But fueling the strengths, you crowd out the weaknesses. 1378 01:23:39,057 --> 01:23:42,060 And... and they find ways of dealing being on time, 1379 01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:46,543 of getting organized because they're motivated. They want to unwrap their gift. 1380 01:23:46,586 --> 01:23:48,023 Hey. 1381 01:23:48,066 --> 01:23:50,068 You have to give people hope. 1382 01:23:50,112 --> 01:23:54,072 And I think that if they can pursue things that they love, 1383 01:23:54,116 --> 01:23:56,422 and everyone has things that they love... 1384 01:23:57,423 --> 01:23:59,295 they are going to have a happier life. 1385 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:03,908 The way forward for me for families with ADHD 1386 01:24:03,951 --> 01:24:07,955 is to don't lose sight of the relationship. 1387 01:24:07,999 --> 01:24:12,003 Stop longing for the child you thought you wanted when you were pregnant. 1388 01:24:13,222 --> 01:24:15,354 And accept the child you have... 1389 01:24:16,312 --> 01:24:18,357 take it as your mission, as your shepherd, 1390 01:24:18,401 --> 01:24:21,056 to help them develop those talents, right? 1391 01:24:21,099 --> 01:24:25,408 And focus on your relationship with them over everything else. 1392 01:24:25,451 --> 01:24:28,672 Because that's what's going to sustain them and sustain you. 1393 01:24:30,978 --> 01:24:33,459 My parents were always really strong and behind me 1394 01:24:33,503 --> 01:24:36,636 and I think they... they knew that it came in a rough and tumble package. 1395 01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:42,512 My mom really sat down with me and poured into me when I struggled. 1396 01:24:42,555 --> 01:24:45,080 On the days I didn't want to do my schoolwork, 1397 01:24:45,123 --> 01:24:49,301 she will sit there and like, "Hey, Michelle, we have to get this done." 1398 01:24:49,345 --> 01:24:50,781 I'd always be sitting in the kitchen table 1399 01:24:50,824 --> 01:24:53,088 and my mom would come in and she'd say, 1400 01:24:53,131 --> 01:24:57,831 "Look, you know, you... you've got to do two things in life. 1401 01:24:57,875 --> 01:25:02,488 "You got to work hard and you got to make sure your spirit never gets broken." 1402 01:25:02,532 --> 01:25:06,057 And I think that, like, the phrase "Your spirit will never get broken" 1403 01:25:06,101 --> 01:25:08,886 is the only reason I made it through childhood. 1404 01:25:11,628 --> 01:25:16,328 Focus less on the way in which they get to their goals 1405 01:25:16,372 --> 01:25:20,202 and more on nurturing them as they go along that journey. 1406 01:25:20,245 --> 01:25:22,204 It's not easy. 1407 01:25:22,247 --> 01:25:24,467 And don't get the idea that if you just take a few pills, 1408 01:25:24,510 --> 01:25:27,122 that all of a sudden everything's going to be fixed and wonderful. 1409 01:25:27,992 --> 01:25:30,603 But the fact is you've got some impressive strengths. 1410 01:25:30,647 --> 01:25:32,562 This is amazing. 1411 01:25:32,605 --> 01:25:37,175 They're just really misunderstood; and it breaks my heart. 1412 01:25:37,219 --> 01:25:41,701 Because I know that they receive such negative feedback from their world. 1413 01:25:41,745 --> 01:25:44,182 And I think, if I could pick one thing 1414 01:25:44,226 --> 01:25:47,316 that I would want parents, educators, and the general public 1415 01:25:47,359 --> 01:25:49,056 to know about children with ADHD is that 1416 01:25:49,100 --> 01:25:52,059 they're little creative, imaginative beings 1417 01:25:52,103 --> 01:25:56,934 who just need a little more support, a little more positive feedback, 1418 01:25:56,977 --> 01:25:59,197 to kind of put them on the right track. 1419 01:25:59,241 --> 01:26:02,722 Your child doesn't have to be the next Einstein, 1420 01:26:02,766 --> 01:26:06,944 or the next, you know, incredible CEO, to be a success, 1421 01:26:06,987 --> 01:26:11,644 but simply to help your child to feel good about what the strengths that they do have, 1422 01:26:12,515 --> 01:26:14,952 to shore up the weaknesses that they do have, 1423 01:26:14,995 --> 01:26:17,520 and to be the best version of themselves they can be. 1424 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:24,353 All right. Good job. 1425 01:26:25,267 --> 01:26:27,182 I am super excited for his future, 1426 01:26:27,225 --> 01:26:30,533 like, it's to a point where I kinda... 1427 01:26:30,576 --> 01:26:32,622 I don't want him to grow too quickly 1428 01:26:32,665 --> 01:26:37,453 but I kind of do because I just can't wait to see where he's gonna go. 1429 01:26:37,496 --> 01:26:40,586 Because he's always talked about being an astronaut. 1430 01:26:40,630 --> 01:26:46,810 Mars, Earth, Venus, Mercury, Moon, and Sun. 1431 01:26:48,115 --> 01:26:51,336 I just wondered like, "Will he actually be an astronaut?" 1432 01:26:55,688 --> 01:26:57,821 Hey, Bear. 1433 01:26:57,864 --> 01:27:01,825 So, it sounds like, I was a kid just like you when I was growing up. 1434 01:27:01,868 --> 01:27:05,132 Um, I struggled in school. I couldn't pay attention. 1435 01:27:05,176 --> 01:27:07,091 I couldn't really sit still very well. 1436 01:27:08,135 --> 01:27:10,094 But you know what? 1437 01:27:10,137 --> 01:27:15,926 I, eventually, after many, many years found inspiration. 1438 01:27:15,969 --> 01:27:20,278 And never forget, you can do absolutely anything, 1439 01:27:20,322 --> 01:27:24,282 if you work hard enough, and never, ever give up. 1440 01:27:25,892 --> 01:27:30,245 - Where are you going? You are going to the Moon? - Yes. 1441 01:27:39,384 --> 01:27:45,738 All the systems are there just... just to create order and normality. 1442 01:27:45,782 --> 01:27:51,309 But all the greatness is when people break outside the systems like, period. 1443 01:27:51,353 --> 01:27:56,575 So, to speak, you know, celebrate that you're outside the system. 1444 01:27:57,533 --> 01:28:01,014 I want to tell parents who have kids with ADHD 1445 01:28:01,058 --> 01:28:05,715 that it's okay, that your child is going to make it. 1446 01:28:05,758 --> 01:28:09,588 They're not less than, actually, they're better than. 1447 01:28:09,632 --> 01:28:13,331 I attribute my success in business to my ADD. 1448 01:28:13,375 --> 01:28:15,072 There's no question in my mind. 1449 01:28:15,115 --> 01:28:17,901 But it's been a tradeoff, you know, 1450 01:28:17,944 --> 01:28:20,382 because, like I said, they've been times 1451 01:28:20,425 --> 01:28:23,733 where you just want to cry from the frustration. 1452 01:28:26,083 --> 01:28:28,912 When I found out a lot of geniuses have ADHD, 1453 01:28:28,955 --> 01:28:32,611 I went, "Ah, there you go. I'm a genius." 1454 01:28:33,960 --> 01:28:37,964 The gift is that you can see something that others can't see. 1455 01:28:38,008 --> 01:28:41,272 You know, sometimes you feel like you can see around walls. 1456 01:28:41,316 --> 01:28:43,709 You know, that's something that is a gift. 1457 01:28:44,754 --> 01:28:47,887 When you feel good about yourself you can achieve anything you want. 1458 01:28:47,931 --> 01:28:51,587 And let's instill that in every, every family, 1459 01:28:51,630 --> 01:28:55,591 every person, every... every kid who's watching this right now. 1460 01:28:56,940 --> 01:29:01,292 If I didn't have this ADHD brain, I wouldn't be where I am today. 1461 01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:03,990 And I'm pretty happy with where I am today. 1462 01:29:05,427 --> 01:29:11,128 I don't think I would have been as good at the creative side of my job without the ADHD 1463 01:29:11,171 --> 01:29:18,178 because I think sometimes your brain is not afraid to just let those crazy ideas come in. 1464 01:29:18,222 --> 01:29:20,572 Because there's so many coming 1465 01:29:20,616 --> 01:29:24,010 that, um, you find one that you think is going to work best but you execute it. 1466 01:29:25,447 --> 01:29:26,796 There's nothing wrong with you. 1467 01:29:27,710 --> 01:29:29,973 Your brain is beautiful. 1468 01:29:30,016 --> 01:29:34,934 Your society didn't do a good job telling you that you're creative. 1469 01:29:34,978 --> 01:29:38,677 Society didn't tell... do a good job telling you that you have, 1470 01:29:38,721 --> 01:29:43,290 you know, the ability to focus on many things at once. 1471 01:29:43,334 --> 01:29:44,944 You're freaking awesome. 1472 01:29:46,337 --> 01:29:48,600 You know, I said if I can take a magic pill 1473 01:29:48,644 --> 01:29:51,864 and cure myself of it I would never do it. 1474 01:29:51,908 --> 01:29:53,300 Never in a million years. 1475 01:29:54,650 --> 01:29:56,869 If I could rename ADHD, 1476 01:29:58,697 --> 01:30:01,221 I would call it "Howie." 1477 01:30:01,265 --> 01:30:03,398 And I think that everybody should rename it 1478 01:30:03,441 --> 01:30:07,489 with their own names because that's what makes us us. 1479 01:30:07,532 --> 01:30:09,621 So my ADHD is Howie. 1480 01:30:10,666 --> 01:30:11,406 What's your name?