MAN: Mr. Kuklinski, we're going to conduct a back search here.
Put your arms out.
NARRATOR: On May 25, 1988,
Richard Kuklinski was convicted of multiple murder
and sentenced to life imprisonment.
This ended 30 years of cold-blooded killing
by a master criminal police called "The Iceman."
MAN: Richard Kuklinski is one of the most dangerous criminals
we have ever come across in this state.
He murdered by guns,
he murdered by strangulation,
he murdered by putting poison on victims' food.
He did all of this at the same time
while exhibiting a normal, placid family existence.
His wife, his children
were uninvolved in his criminal activities,
yet we are faced with evidence,
convicting evidence of numerous grisly murders.
MAN: How many people have you killed?
All right, approximate guess...
Approximate, well, oh,
more than a hundred.
How do you feel about killing?
I don't.
It doesn't bother me.
Doesn't bother me at all.
I don't have a feeling one way or the other.
I think, if I had a choice, I wouldn't.
INTERVIEWER: Richard, when you were on the streets,
what kinds of weapons did you use?
When I was out on the street,
to do something, I carried 3 guns
and a knife.
I had a derringer in each pocket.
And a gun on my ankle,
a bigger gun, just in case...
and a knife.
It all depends how it came about.
You indicated yesterday that you used a shotgun,
took it out at a stop light or something like that or...
At a red light.
We were following this fella.
I pulled up at a...
at a red light.
Came alongside of him.
[Clears throat]
And shot the shotgun, took his head off.
He never saw the green light.
It was a sawed-off shotgun.
It was very, uh-- as a matter of fact,
when it happened, it surprised me.
I--I expected the, uh...
the man to die,
but it really surprised me when it took his head off.
It was something I didn't expect.
Richard Kuklinski is not a serial killer.
He's not a drug-crazed
wild man running around with a machine gun.
He's not a person
that is driven by perverse sexual desires.
He doesn't drink, he doesn't gamble,
all of these things
which many persons that are involved in killing
and murders often are motivated by.
Richard Kuklinski, instead, is nothing more than
a predator on human beings.
His motivation is greed,
and his method of murder is very varied and very extreme.
INTERVIEWER: Richard, I understand that you're
an expert in the use of cyanide.
How many times did you kill with it?
KUKLINSKI: Quite a few.
What's the different ways you use cyanide?
[Sighs] You could, uh...
put it in liquid form.
You could, uh...
there could-- person could take it--
for instance, a person could be in a bar.
You bump into them, possibly by mistake,
or say you were intoxicated,
spill a drink on them,
and leave.
Everybody just looks around, thinks you're a drunk
or that you just had an accident or something.
And, meanwhile,
it's soaking through their clothes
into their pores
and into their system.
And eventually...
they'll die.
I'd be in a restaurant
where we were eating,
and the guy went to the bathroom.
And while he was in the bathroom,
we put a little boost in his, uh, in his food.
And, uh...
he was rushed to the hospital after that
and he died,
and they buried him.
I'm not exactly sure what they put on--
what they attributed his death to,
but, you know...
it wasn't homicide.
MAN: Somewhere, and I don't know where,
he picked up on cyanide poisoning
as being a good way,
a good, quick way to kill somebody.
It's such a good way to kill somebody
that that's the gas that's used in gas chambers.
I mean, cyanide in a gas form,
which is similar to cyanide
in a "being eaten" form, kills very quickly.
It kills faster than arsenic, faster than strychnine,
and it's hard to detect...
if the person--if it isn't specifically looked for.
He murdered
sometimes months apart, years apart.
He used different methods.
He would go so far as to plan in his crimes
the actual deceit of law enforcement.
By that, I mean he would, on occasion, murder someone,
cut their body, wrap them in layer after layer
of plastic bags and material, and then deposit the body
many, many miles from the murder scene.
KUKLINSKI: What is it if you dispose of something?
You throw it away.
You throw it anywhere.
It all depends,
if you don't want it found or if you want it found.
If you want it found, it doesn't matter. You just leave it there.
If you don't want it found... [Sighs]
you could take it somewhere.
You could bury it.
You could, uh,
put it in a big drum.
You could put it in a trunk of a car and have it crushed.
You leave it in town, you could put it on a park bench.
I mean, you know, you could put it anywhere you want.
They found a few people sitting on park benches, I'm sure.
As a matter of fact, I know they have.
INTERVIEWER: Are there any murders that you committed
that haunt you, that you just sort of--you feel any...
Nothing haunts me.
No murders haunt me.
Nothing.
I don't think about it.
That's why it's hard for me to tell you.
In order for me to be able to tell you
when something happened, I'd have to think about when.
If I think about it...
it would wind up hurting me,
so I don't-- I don't think about it.
If I had a choice,
and, of course, you already said to me
we all have a choice-- heh heh!
Maybe we do.
At the time, I didn't seem to have one.
But if I could have...
I would like to be different than what I am.
I would have liked to have been different
than what I was, yes.
It would be better, it would have been better for me.
I would have liked to had a better outlook on life.
But I can't change yesterday.
NARRATOR: Richard Kuklinski was born April 11, 1935
in a low-income public housing project in Jersey City.
His father was a brakeman for the railroad,
and his mother worked in a meat-packing plant.
KUKLINSKI: I didn't like my father
'cause he would beat me just because he felt like it.
To get my attention, I guess.
He would think nothing of coming in
and smacking you,
you know, basically.
He'd just come in and give you a whoopin'
for no reason whatsoever.
And my mother was cancer.
She would destroy everybody.
She thought I took too long to do something,
she didn't hesitate to give me a swat here
and there, and she didn't just use her hand.
She...
She would hit me with a broomstick
or something like that. It wouldn't...
It hurt.
As a matter of fact,
she broke the broom on me more than once.
NARRATOR: Richard's mother believed
that harsh discipline at home should go hand in hand
with a rigid religious education.
I was raised a...a Catholic.
INTERVIEWER: Mm-hmm.
Uh, we were very...
she was strict as far as the religion goes.
I went to a-- Your mother?
My mother, yeah. My mother--
We went to a...
Catholic grammar school
and we were raised with the Catholic belief.
I was even an altar boy.
But, uh...
during the course of my life,
I don't really believe it.
It's just the way it happened.
Didn't mean it to happen that way,
but it just happened that way.
NARRATOR: When his father abandoned the family,
Richard, a skinny, timid young teenager,
was left to fend for himself.
He was an easy target for street gangs,
but by the time he was 16,
things began to change.
KUKLINSKI: When I was a young man, I found out
that if you hurt somebody,
they'll leave you alone.
Good guys do finish last.
When I tried to leave everybody alone,
just do my own thing, everybody just wanted
to hurt me,
until one day I just decided,
"Well, I've had enough of this picking."
And I went upstairs and I took a...
a bar, which the clothes used to hang on
in the closet.
And I went back downstairs,
and there were, like, 6 young men,
still figuring they were gonna mess with my head,
and, uh...
we went to war.
To their surprise,
I was no longer taking the beating.
I was giving it.
And that's when I learned that it was better
to give than to receive.
I have been known to hurt people for no reason.
If you check out my background as I came up,
I could be anywhere, and if somebody humiliated me,
I would think nothing of hitting them with a cue stick
in an instant.
And the only thing they might have done was...
made me feel bad, or...
challenged my authority at the time.
NARRATOR: Kuklinski's reputation as a tough guy
with a hair-trigger temper grew.
By the time he was 18,
the abused had become the abuser.
It wasn't long before he committed his first murder.
KUKLINSKI: I got into a fight in a bar.
We got into an argument, a fight,
and I hit him with a...
with a cue stick...
uh...
a few too many times, and he died.
INTERVIEWER: How'd you feel after,
when you found out that he'd died?
I had felt very bad.
Very, very bad.
I was upset.
I didn't...
mean to do it, actually.
But surprisingly, I felt sadness and...
after a while, I felt something else.
I didn't feel sad. I was sad, along with...
some sort of a...
rush, that I had control, and...
if you mess with me, I guess it's--
if you mess with me, I'll...I'll hurt you.
NARRATOR: By the time he'd reached his 20s,
Kuklinski had become a petty crook and pool hustler,
then his life changed.
In 1960, he met
a pretty 19-year-old girl named Barbara Pedrin.
He was absolutely...
flowers at the door every day and...
considerate and romantic and all of the things
that anybody could hope for, dream for.
He bought me beautiful things.
We went fun places.
He was happiest when we were together.
He was happiest when just he and I were together.
NARRATOR: He and Barbara had 3 children,
but with just an eighth-grade education, he could only get
low-paying jobs that didn't pay enough to support
his growing family.
I didn't have the capability
of getting a better-paying job.
What, was I going to push a yarn truck
the rest of my life,
make a menial amount of money?
I couldn't have afforded...
one child, let alone 3.
NARRATOR: He went to work at a film lab,
where he began to pirate pornographic films
and sell them to outside sources
connected to the Gambino crime family.
This connection led to other criminal activities,
and it wasn't long before he went from being
a small-time hood to a big-time killer.
He worked as a hit man and associated with a gang
that worked out of the notorious Gemini Lounge in Brooklyn.
Above the Lounge was a Mafia killing factory,
where victims were killed and dismembered.
Hacked bodies were packaged in plastic bags
and carted away.
Kuklinski was the perfect enforcer.
He was brutal and he knew how to intimidate.
If people owed money,
they either paid up or paid with their lives.
KUKLINSKI: Most people paid their bills.
Some didn't.
I remember one guy.
He was, um... owed a lot of money.
Well, I guess a considerable amount of money.
Um...
He hid be--he thought he could hide behind a door.
It was a nice door, expensive door.
Anyway, uh,
most people don't realize that, uh,
when you come to answer a door...
uh, if there's light in the background,
the person on the outside can look
through the peephole
and see the guy coming to the door.
So he came to the door, asked who it was,
and, uh...
he looked through the peephole.
[Clicks tongue]
And he never saw what hit him.
NARRATOR: For Richard Kuklinski,
murder had become a way of life,
and the macabre became the commonplace.
INTERVIEWER: Don't you ever use a chainsaw? I mean...
To cut someone up?
Yes.
I've done that.
To dismember them, yes.
Not to kill them, though.
And what was it like to cut somebody up with a--
with a--you know, well, the guy's dead.
How did it feel to cut some guy up with a chainsaw?
I didn't have any feeling
one way or the other.
That just happened.
That's the way it had to be.
Messy?
Yes.
Yes, it was.
Did it make you sick?
No.
I've had requests where the guy wanted
the guy's tongue cut out.
And he also wanted his tongue
put in his, uh, rear end.
So I believe there was a definite point
he wanted to get across.
I have an experience
that I don't know if I should tell you,
that it might--it probably would offend
a lot of people.
Uh...
I don't know.
I don't think--I should not go into that.
Go ahead.
No, it's not a good one.
Tell it. Go ahead. Tell it.
Tsk.
There a man, he was begging
and pleading and, uh...
and...and praying, I guess.
[Sighs]
And, um...
He was "Please, God"in' all over the place.
So I told him he could have a half-hour...
to pray to God.
And if God could come down
and change the circumstances...
he'd have that time.
But God never showed up,
and he never changed the circumstances...
and that was that.
It wasn't too nice.
That's one thing I shouldn't have done,
that one.
I shouldn't have done it that way.
NARRATOR: By the 1970s,
between his illegal activities and contract killings,
he was becoming a wealthy man.
He now lived in an expensive home
in a middle-class neighborhood with his wife and 3 children.
INTERVIEWER: Richard, what did you charge for a hit?
If I hit somebody,
I wouldn't hit it for peanuts.
I'd like to have some money.
I'd say if I were to do somebody,
I'd want at least 5 figures.
And at least up in the better half,
not the lower half, of the 5 figures.
NARRATOR: Kuklinski kept his criminal life secret
from his family and neighbors.
He told them he was a businessman.
No one knew his business was murder.
BARBARA KUKLINSKI: We were perfect.
My children were never in trouble.
We were perfect. We were the all-American family.
I mean, we had what seemed to be the perfect life.
There were wonderful times,
and time with his family was the only thing that he was
really concerned--I mean, if he never had to leave the house,
he would have loved it.
He hated to have to travel.
He hated to go away.
He came back as soon as he can.
He wanted to be home all the time.
He wanted to be with us all the time.
KUKLINSKI: I enjoyed that way of life.
I felt I had achieved something.
I...
very seldom left the house unless I had to
because I felt... secure in the house.
I felt very secure.
I tried to provide
the best for them
as I knew how.
Might not have been the right way to go,
but it was, for me, the only way.
I tried to never let anything
touch the house.
I brought nobody there.
My family was not exposed to anybody.
I wanted to show them the good side of life,
not the bad side.
BARBARA KUKLINSKI: Richard had a very, very sad childhood.
You got the impression-- or I knew because he would, like,
say something and then drop it and change the subject--
that he was abused and that there was no love.
He grew up absolutely without any love, without a doubt.
I mean, the first Christmas with my family,
he couldn't-- he was in awe.
He couldn't believe it.
There was a tree
and everyone was cooking special things
and there was lots of--we were laughing and it was fun and
he kept saying, "I can't believe that this is what happens."
KUKLINSKI: It was a Jekyll and Hyde existence.
The way it was, the way I wanted it to be,
were absolutely two different...
two different lives.
I wanted...one life.
I had to have another life.
NARRATOR: This other life would interrupt one Christmas Eve.
While his family was celebrating the holidays,
Kuklinski left his home to collect on a bad debt.
Business was business, even on Christmas Eve.
KUKLINSKI: The man owed me money.
He was giving me a runaround.
I told him I wasn't happy that he wasn't gonna pay me.
And he had the attitude that, uh...
[Sighs]
Nobody could hurt him.
I think he was wrong.
[Distant siren]
Anyway, he never saw Christmas.
INTERVIEWER: What did you use, a--
A gun.
Extremely loud inside of a car. Heh heh!
Matter of fact, my ears were ringing for a long time.
What'd you do afterwards?
I walked away,
got in my car,
and went home.
What'd you do when you got home?
I put toys together for the kids for Christmas.
I saw the broadcast while I was putting
the toys together, came down.
"Mob-related killing."
That was the first time I knew I was mob-related.
Heh heh!
How'd you feel?
I was annoyed I couldn't get the damn wagon together.
I never questioned him, and you just knew.
Don't do it, don't ask.
If he got up at 2:00 in the morning or during dinner,
and put on his shoes and walked out the door, you said, "Bye."
You didn't say, "Where are you going?" or "Why are you going?"
And it was just...understood that that's the way it was.
He was very private.
You only knew what he wanted you to know.
NARRATOR: By the 1980s, after 25 years
of working as a hit man for the mob,
Richard Kuklinski became the head of his own crime ring.
He developed new ways to profit from murder.
The case of Paul Hoffman was typical of the way he operated.
On the afternoon of April 29, 1982,
Hoffman arrived at a warehouse leased by Kuklinski.
Like numerous victims of The Iceman,
he had been set up for a phony business deal.
MAN: Paul Hoffman was a pharmacist,
and he was looking for a quick buck.
He was...
out to purchase a drug called Tagamet,
which was, at the time, a wonder drug for ulcers.
And he felt that if he could purchase a large quantity
of this Tagamet
at a very low price,
that he could indeed make
a huge profit on that,
and that was the alleged deal
that he had with Richard Kuklinski.
NARRATOR: When Paul Hoffman showed up to buy the Tagamet,
he was carrying $25,000 in cash.
KUKLINSKI: He took the bag, opened it,
showed me a whole mess of money, a whole mess of cash.
He said, "Look, I got the money right here,
here it is," and he came back.
And he says, "What are we gonna do?
"What are we gonna do?
How am I gonna get this merchandise?"
Tsk.
I put the gun under his chin
and I said, "There is no merchandise,"
and I shot him.
He didn't die.
The gun jammed.
He was...gurgling.
I had hit him.
It was, uh...
blood was pouring out of his mouth,
and, uh...
He was in a-- I would imagine, a lot--
he looked like he was in a lot of pain.
Tsk. So there was a tire iron there.
I took the tire iron and hit him with it,
which...
knocked him out...
and, uh, he died.
I then took him
and put him in a 50-gallon drum,
put it on the side of a motel.
It was behind Harry's Corner.
I listened to the people.
I went in Harry's every morning.
The thing was there for a long time,
out there every day.
It was there.
I went in Harry's every day. One day it was just missing.
Continued to go in Harry's to see if anything
was said about it.
Nothing was said.
I don't know what happened to the drum.
NARRATOR: By the 1980s, Kuklinski was involved
in narcotics, pornography, arms dealing,
money-laundering, hijacking, and contract-killing
on a worldwide basis.
He was also pressing 50
and getting tired.
He started to make mistakes.
He began to leave traces,
and law enforcement officers who had suspected him
over the years began gathering evidence.
Kuklinski would protect himself by killing anyone
who could testify against him.
On December 27, 1982,
a body was discovered at the York Motel in New Jersey.
The body was identified
as Gary Smith, 37.
Smith had been given cyanide and then strangled to death.
This was the first of many mistakes
Kuklinski was to commit.
DR. BADEN: Gary Smith was found
under a motel bed
in New Jersey,
as I recall, where some 20 people
had used the room in 5 days, and nobody had realized
there was a rotting body underneath it.
The body was found in a decomposed state.
It was very hot weather.
Smith would have not...
been identified as a murder victim
if he had died only of the cyanide.
If the cyanide had worked and he had died
and he didn't need to be strangled,
that ligature mark around the neck wouldn't have been seen
and he would have...been
possibly a drug addict overdose or--lots of other things
of a non-homicidal nature would have to be considered.
NARRATOR: On September 25, 1983,
the body of Louis Masgay was found.
As he had done many times before
to confuse the time of death,
Kuklinski had frozen the body in an industrial freezer.
This was the murder that earned him the name of "Iceman."
This murder was also his second deadly mistake.
He did too good a job on that body
because he left that body in the freezer for two years,
then took the body out and dumped it
in Rockland County,
and the body was found
before it had fully thawed out,
so the doctor doing the autopsy, the medical examiner
in Rockland County, when he opened the body up,
saw ice inside the body in the summer's day
and said, "There's something wrong here.
"This guy could not have died two days ago
the way he looks like from the outside."
NARRATOR: On May 14, 1983,
a bicyclist was riding down a lonely road in a wooded area
and saw a buzzard feeding on a body.
It was Daniel Deppner, 44,
the third business associate of Richard Kuklinski
to be found dead.
The body count grew.
There would soon be 5 unsolved murders
with one thing in common: the last person
to see the victims alive had been Richard Kuklinski.
After 30 years of getting away with murder,
Richard Kuklinski's time was running out.
He had been under investigation for 3 years,
and the police were beginning to put the pieces together.
What I told my superiors
in Trenton was that...
"Hey, look, you know, we can check with the FBI
"and we can see that there's a certain number of
"given serial killers roaming around this country of ours,
"but take a good, hard look at what we got here.
We got Richard Kuklinski, and there's only one of him."
NARRATOR: In 1986,
a division of the New Jersey Criminal Justice Department
set up a task force made up of federal,
state, and local law enforcement agencies
The task force analyzed existing investigative material
and gathered new information.
They had one mission: to arrest and convict Richard Kuklinski.
CARROLL: When I first read the file,
which, at the time, was nothing more than a compilation
of several different unsolved homicides,
the more you looked for connections,
the less you found in this particular case
because there was different types of murders,
different devices used.
The final method that was used was,
in fact, the introduction of an undercover federal agent,
Dominick Polifrone, who was able
to win Mr. Kuklinski's confidence and was able
to record conversations where he detailed
his participation in these murders.
I portrayed myself as a hit man,
told him I worked for the, uh, wise guys, downtown New York,
and my brother was a goodfella downtown
and I went by the name
of Dominick Michael Provanzano.
POLIFRONE: Are you willing to go out on a contract?
KUKLINSKI: If the price is right, I'll talk to anybody.
Yeah? Sure.
And you mean to tell me your way is nice and clean
and nothin' fuckin' shows up?
Well, it may show, my friend, but it's qui--
it's not messy, it's not noisy.
It's not, uh, you know.
Yeah, but how the fuck do you put it together,
like, you know what I'm saying?
Oh, there's always a way.
There's a will, there's a way, my friend.
We used to sit down and we'd talk.
Either we'd go to those tables over there
and get away from people and we'd discuss...
how to murder people.
KUKLINSKI: "You know, I just got a few problems
"I want to dispose of, I have some rats
I want to get rid of." POLIFRONE: Yeah.
The only fuckin' thing I don't understand--
Don't you use a fuckin' piece of iron
to get rid of these fuckin' people?
You use this fuckin' cyanide?
Try to be messy.
You do it nice and calm.
It became apparent
at later points in the investigation
that Mr. Kuklinski fully intended
on murdering Dominick Polifrone in addition to
the victims that were being discussed at the time
they were having these tape-recorded conversations.
So he could pretty much tell Dominick Polifrone anything
because he knew shortly that he had plans
for Mr. Polifrone, too.
KUKLINSKI: You put that stuff in a mist,
you spray it in somebody's face,
and they go to sleep.
No shit! Long as he's dead. That's the bottom line.
No, that's the thing, isn't it, no matter how
it was done; I mean, I know guys that went
to sleep and never woke up again, you know.
Heh heh heh!
POLIFRONE: He says he had one guy,
he went and get a hamburger.
They'd come back and he'd put the cyanide on his hamburger.
And we're sitting down and he's telling me.
He says, "You wouldn't believe it," he says, "I'm waiting for
this guy to keel over," he says because once you eat cyanide,
usually it would-- you'd roll over and that's it.
He says, "This guy had the constitution of a fuckin' bull."
He says, "You wouldn't believe it."
He says, "He wouldn't die!"
And we're both laughing about this, and I'm saying
in the back of my mind, I said, "Holy God."
I said, "Look at this."
I said, "What kind of person is this?"
I said to myself right there, I said,
"You better cover your butt,"
I said, "because you just don't know with this guy."
And he'd be kidding about it and I'd be laughing.
In the back of my mind, I'm saying, "This is the devil.
No question about it. This is the devil."
[Police radio chatter]
NARRATOR: On December 17, 1986,
the Special Task Force set up a roadblock
and arrested Richard Kuklinski outside his home
in Dumont, New Jersey.
They felt they had all the evidence they needed
for a conviction.
KANE: The whole road was blocked off for cops.
Local police, state police,
Division of Criminal Justice investigators,
county personnel.
There was no place for him to go, so he stopped his car.
He was told to get out of the car,
and he did not.
So he was, um...
taken out of the car,
and he was placed
face-down on the street...
in a position where we thought we were safe.
And then I handcuffed him.
That guy's big.
I did everything I could to get one click on the handcuffs,
and later on, I tried to put leg irons on him
and there's no way they would go on.
They just wouldn't go on.
Law enforcement authorities
have arrested one of the most
notorious contract killers
in state history.
A self-employed Bergen County man is behind bars, charged
with 5 murders, and prosecutors are investigating
his involvement in dozens more.
This is unwarranted,
unnecessary.
These guys watch too many movies.
He is such a cold-blooded killer they call him "The Iceman."
After being convicted of two murders,
he confessed to two others in court today.
I shot George Malliband 5 times
and Louis Masgay
on July 1, 1981.
I, uh, shot him once in the back of the head.
NARRATOR: When the judge asked him why
he had killed the two men, Kuklinski replied...
It was due to business.
NARRATOR: Dominick Polifrone's tapes had nailed Kuklinski,
but in court, The Iceman greeted the undercover cop with a smile.
How are you, man? Good.
WOMAN: He seemed to be quite cheery
about saying hello to you.
Well, I reciprocated.
The only thing is, I'm going home
and he's going to a different environment at the present time.
BARBARA KUKLINSKI: It wasn't real to us.
We just had a hard time dealing
with what was in the press,
and I kept saying, "No way" and "I don't believe it" and then,
when I actually heard his voice, you know, in court,
it was very hard to believe that he talked like that.
It was very, very difficult to believe.
KUKLINSKI, ON TAPE: I've done it always.
As far as you've known or heard,
there isn't too many things I haven't tried.
No matter how it was done, I mean, I know guys that went
to sleep and never woke up again, I mean, you know.
POLIFRONE, ON TAPE: Heh heh heh heh!
CARROLL: The consensus of...
the federal, state, county,
and local law enforcement agencies that were involved
in this investigation
is that Richard Kuklinski is one of the most dangerous criminals
we have ever come across in this state.
Further, it's our feeling that
he is such a diabolical,
methodical type of killer
that it's very possible
that, when all is said and done, we still may never know
how many people he has actually killed.
What Richard has been accused of and found guilty of
and spoke to you about
goes against God and man.
I have...very strong feelings.
I am totally anti-violence.
I mean--and as are my children.
And, um,
I can't make those wrongs right.
I can't make them right in my own mind.
We are Richard Kuklinski's family,
and we aren't ourselves anymore.
We're "Richard Kuklinski's family."
KUKLINSKI: I've never felt sorry for anything I've done
other than hurting my family.
The only thing I feel sorry for.
[Sighs] I'm not looking for forgiveness
and I'm not repenting.
[Sighs] No, I'm wrong.
[Sniffles]
I am wrong.
I do want my family to forgive me.
Oh, boy.
[Clicks teeth]
I ain't gonna make this one.
Oh, shit.
This would never be me. This...would not be me.
[Voice cracks] I feel for my family.
Whew.
You see The Iceman crying.
Not very macho...
but I've hurt...
people that mean... everything to me.
But the only people that mean anything to me.