Grrr!
Breaking news!
An epidemic is spreading across the globe.
Beaver Fever!
I'm not talking about an actual disease, of course.
I'm colourfully describing the mania
surrounding teen singing sensation Justin Beaver.
Girls everywhere are going gaga for this teen heart-throb.
They can't get enough of him.
And suddenly Dad the anchor-bird isn't cool any more.
Maybe Justin Beaver will foot the bill for private school
instead of buying those golf clubs he wanted.
Just what this world needs.
Another cookie-cutter pop star force-fed to us by the man.
You're right, this Beaver Fever thing
is clearly a marketing ploy
to sell sub-standard music to gullible teenage girls.
Who could possibly fall for it?
Isn't Justin great?
When I heard his first song, "Girl, I Like You",
I wasn't sure if Justin was actually talking about me.
But then his next song was titled.
"Yes, I'm Actually Talking About You"
and I totally freaked out!
How can you allow yourself
to become a pawn of the corporate fat cats?
Before you judge, just listen to one track.
I don't want to over-hype it,
but he's the greatest entertainer who ever lived!
♪ Girl, it's time I told you 'bout my serious condition ♪
[groans]
♪ I can't stop thinking about you, I had to call a physician ♪
[music off]
Ugh! That was terrible.
I finally have a soundtrack for my nightmares.
I... love it!
I knew I could rely on Sticks to be the voice of reason.
We're through the looking glass here.
White is black and black is white.
Wait till you hear the rest!
[both giggle]
Sticks, we still on for rock climbing?
Uh, sure, whatever.
[giggling]
Hello? Sticks? You ready to go?
What happened in here?
I turned my burrow into a totes adorbs tribute to Justin.
Oh, is that what's going on here?
Sticks! Sticks! Sticks!
You are not gonna believe it.
Justin Beaver is in town
and he's doing a signing at the music shop right now!
[shrieks]
And he's performing a concert at Village Centre this weekend!
[both shriek]
You really need to stop doing that.
What should we wear?
I'm thinking of wearing the one outfit I own.
- Me too. - [both shriek]
I can understand Amy fan-girling out, but Sticks?
There's something fishy about this Beaver Fever.
We need to investigate.
I hope you ladies are ready, because here he is.
The boy who'd sweep you off your feet
if he didn't have such tiny little arms.
Your favourite global pop phenomenon, Justin Beaver!
[all shriek]
You're the only fan I care about.
Be my baby! Ohh!
Just step over her.
We're not selling enough merch. Turn it up.
- [sighs] - ♪ Yo, yo ♪
♪ My doc warns me you're like cholesterol ♪
♪ But, baby, I know that you're the best of all ♪
♪ Take heed of my jingle, you make my left arm tingle... ♪
Whatever's going on, that guy's behind it.
Music industry professionals only.
Don't worry, I got this.
[blows tunelessly]
How are we gonna convince this guy we're in the music biz?
I know just what to do...
we'll form our very own boy band.
Did you have to bring us down here to finish that sentence?
A boy band? We'll lose our street cred.
What about our machismo?
Mmm... cheese-mo.
I know, but to find out what's going on with the girls
we're going to have to man up.
And by "man up" you mean
rehearse a choreographed dance routine in sequined outfits?
Exactly. It'll take a lot of work so we'd better get started.
[funky dance music]
- Easier than I thought. - We just have to pick a name.
We've still got a little montage time left.
Knuckles! Stop tearing pages off that calendar.
- OK, fine. - We need to think of names.
I was saving this name for if I ever formed a band,
but how about... Dude-itude?
Too awesome-sounding. It needs to be soft and inoffensive.
- Something like... - Dreamboat Express?
- [all] Eww! - It's perfect.
Music industry professionals only.
We are music industry professionals.
We're Justin's opening act.
♪ Ba ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba ♪
Mm-mm.
I guess this is the end of Dreamboat Express.
Dreamboat Express?
With a name like that, you must be professionals. Come on in.
There he is. Now to find out his evil scheme.
Your 3 p.m. got moved to 6 p.m., your 6 p.m. got moved to 4 p.m.
I guess it makes sense he wouldn't reveal his evil scheme
the exact moment we happened to be listening.
Shifting gears, how's our evil scheme coming along?
Looking good.
Tonight Justin will debut his new single
which has 50% more mind control.
Perfect!
Any female within a five-mile radius
will be turned into a mindless consumer zombie,
and I'll be reaping the profits.
[laughs]
Mind control. That explains it.
Intruders! Get them!
Mind control? That's preposterous.
Justin would never do that. He and I have a special bond.
Us too. He even wrote a song only about me.
It's called "Every Single Girl I've Ever Met".
But it's true!
Justin's producer conveniently revealed the whole scheme
right in front of us.
Talk about lazy writing!
Trust us, guys, we're not under mind control.
Let's get to that concert
and spend our life savings on Justin Beaver merchandise.
[both shriek]
Don't worry, I know just what to do...
since the mind control is embedded in the music track,
there must be an opposite sound frequency to counter it.
We just need to find it. Thus, the Measure-ometer!
It's fun to bring people a long way to finish a sentence.
It really is.
And now here he is,
the nocturnal, semi-aquatic rodent of your dreams,
Justin Beaver!
For me to calibrate the Measure-ometer,
we need to get on that stage without being seen.
- Hey, you there! - [all] Huh!
The show's starting.
The opening act needs to be up on that stage.
[all whistle]
Man, I'm good at my job. What would they do without me?
Has it discovered the counter-frequency?
Not yet. We have to stall Justin.
[cheering]
- Who are you? - Dreamboat Express!
Ugh, I hate that name.
And we challenge you to a sing-off.
What are they doing here?
♪ You should expect the expected and nothing more ♪
♪ Cos you've all heard this song and dance before ♪
♪ Our moves are stale, our harmonies bland ♪
♪ Cos we're just another... whoo... generic boy band ♪
Wow, they're pretty good.
I'd love to meet those guys some day.
♪ I've got a bold confession ♪
♪ And I think it's time you knew ♪
♪ I'm into you specifically, girl ♪
♪ And no other girl will do ♪
[both] He's talking about me! In your face!
♪ Yo, yo, yo, we're bringing it weak and we're bringing it lame ♪
♪ Whatever we can do to keep it all the same ♪
♪ We're focus-tested and radio friendly ♪
♪ The only thing that matters is we stay trendy ♪
♪ You're unique, you're complex and interesting, girl ♪
♪ And I'm not being hyperbolic ♪
♪ Let's carve our name into a tree ♪
♪ It's vandalism, but symbolic ♪
♪ You should expect the expected and nothing more ♪
♪ Cos you've all heard this song and dance before ♪
♪ Our phoney baloney image is planned ♪
♪ Cos we're just another... huh... generic boy band ♪
♪ Won't you please be my special girl? ♪
♪ We'll do the things you want to do ♪
♪ And take a trip to that place you like ♪
♪ And be home before curfew ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
[shrieking]
[Tails] The counter-frequency!
Of course. I should have known all along.
- [rock guitar] - Drop that generic fat beat!
Not rock and roll!
Ladies and... uh... ladies,
prepare for the bad boy musical stylings of... Dude-itude!
♪ You thought we'd never beat the Beaver ♪
♪ But now we're here to make you believers ♪
♪ Sonic and crew, rocking with the chemistry ♪
♪ Crummy boy band music is the enemy ♪
- Ugh! - [all sigh]
What happened? Where are we?
I don't know, but listen to that sweet guitar solo.
[all sigh]
Your power rock has freed me from the evil of mind control.
I can move into an industry
where I won't be exploited by unscrupulous producers.
Hello, humiliating reality TV series!
I'm ruined! I'm ruined!
- We're here! - [all] We're Dude-itude!
♪ And though you may find us crude and rude ♪
♪ We have to conclude you'll come unglued ♪
♪ Now that you've heard us ♪
♪ Dude-itude! ♪
Subtitling: Eclair Media