(ENGINE REVVING)
Hulk to A-Bomb. A-BOMB: Code names. Remember?
(SIGHING) Papa Green to Baby Blue. The path to Grandma's house is all clear.
Copy that, Papa Green.
Hey, Hulkies, we're trucking through the desert
to deliver some dangerous goods. Or would that be bads?
(BEEPING)
Anyway, we're taking this creep, Abomination,
to a remote military prison deep in the desert.
But we're currently kind of lost.
Who builds a truck without GPS?
Oh, wait. General Thunderbolt Ross.
We don't need GPS.
I know this shortcut like the back of my hand.
Unless your hand is a perfectly flat,
expansive, endless horizon in all directions,
I'm gonna have to second-guess you.
Skaar, map.
Skaar eat map. Desert part taste very dry.
Hang on. There's a sign up ahead.
(GULPING) Ate a bug.
Quiet, Papa Green. Don't want Lizard Boy
getting jealous he's missing all the juicy ones.
Easy, Red. You're the last one who should be rattling Abomination's cage.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means... (GULPING)
(LAUGHS) What?
Greenie thinks just 'cause I turned Blonsky into Abomination,
I ought to take it easy on him?
(SCOFFS) He's one of the most dangerous criminals on the planet.
Life in a metal shoebox is better than he deserves.
HULK: I know where we are. The sign says Death Valley.
You took us to Death Valley? Don't you know the urban legend
about the Spirit of Vengeance that haunts this place?
Story goes that he beats the tar out of you with a flaming chain
if you haven't fessed up to your past crimes.
You hear that, old friend? Red Hulk may be a hero,
but General Ross has much to atone for.
RED HULK: Past is past, old friend.
Besides, you're the bad guy here.
You're the one that ought to be worried.
Something tells me he's not the only bad guy here.
(MOTORCYCLE REVVING)
A-BOMB: It's him. It's the Ghost Rider!
(MOTORCYCLE REVVING)
Abomination, I have come for you.
(HISSING)
Yep, it's a jailbreak. Jen.
HULK: We'll buy you some distance. Floor it. SHE-HULK: Will do.
Oh, no.
Not about to let some flame-headed biker
bust Abomination loose.
(CHAINS CLANKING)
Whoa! (GRUNTING)
(HULK GRUNTING) (THUDS)
(GROANING)
Told you he was real. In your smug, green face.
You were all, "I'm She-Hulk. I know everything about shortcuts,
"cities, and revenge ghosts! Ooh!"
(CHUCKLING)
If you're right, this isn't one of those things
it's good to be right about, dunce.
If you're such an expert, what's this demon want?
My guess? Either Abomination's soul,
or he just really needs a bucket of water.
If he wants Abomination so bad, maybe we should just give him up.
Uh, you're with me, right? He's Agent of S.M.A.S.H. enemy number one.
Or two, after Leader, but that's, like, a big deal still.
Dude is the worst. Well, I'm not helping.
(BANGING) A-BOMB: Is that sound coming from above us?
(GRUNTING) A-BOMB: Jen!
Hmm.
(GROWLING) S.M.A.S.H.-ers fight.
(SCOFFING) Fine. I'll help.
(GROWLING) Skaar slash fire-face!
(GRUNTING) A-BOMB: Help, Skaar!
He's haunting our truck. We gotta stop him.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CHUCKLING)
So, you have come to liberate me?
Who hired you? Wait. Never mind.
Just get these off me.
Get him, Skaar! (YELLS)
(SIZZLING) Ow! Hot, hot, hot!
Sorry, matchstick. Can't let you hijack that cargo.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(THUDDING)
Let me show you how a real cowboy wrestles down a runaway steer.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CLANGING)
Hey! Get off my property. You're wrecking the place.
What do you care? It's junk.
All right. Fine. My rocket board ought to cover it.
Big baby. (GRUNTING)
(CLATTERING)
MAN: If you broke it, you bought it.
Never mind.
ABOMINATION: You have my thanks, comrade.
You will be well rewarded. (GRUNTING)
Emil Blonsky, you must atone
for your crimes.
(GRUNTING) Release me, demon. This is not my fault.
It was him, Red Hulk, General Ross.
He took my humanity and made me into this monster.
It's his fault!
Sorry, gruesome. All your fire's doing is making me mad!
And the madder I get, the hotter I get!
(GRUNTING)
Take him! He started everything.
RED HULK: Hold up, Blonsky. I turned you into the perfect soldier.
You're the one who wasted the gift.
Ross would hide his mistake in prison
while he roams free with his biggest mistake of all...
The Hulk.
Shut your scaly piehole!
You created two monsters, Ross,
and allied yourself with the wrong one.
(GRUNTING)
Repent.
I will repent for nothing!
Then burn!
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Uh, maybe we should come back another time.
No one deserves that.
(GROANING CONTINUES)
(ABOMINATION SCREAMING)
(ABOMINATION GROANING)
Whoa. Didn't see that coming.
A-BOMB: He cooked the gamma right out of Abomination!
No. What have you done? You've taken it away. I'm... Nothing.
(RED HULK LAUGHING) Good riddance.
Can't hide behind your gamma muscle now, you...
(GRUNTING) Hey! What are you doing?
You didn't actually buy that mope's sob story?
HULK: Let him go.
(GROWLING)
You're warmongering impatience created Hulk.
Your arrogance created a monster,
Abomination, to stop him. Crime upon crime.
Repent or suffer.
(RED HULK SCREAMING)
RED HULK: Nice try, flame-face, but I got a hot head too.
You're the one who should repent to me.
If I hadn't saved the world 20 dozen times,
you'd be riding your flaming bike in circles,
on a 50-foot chunk of rock in space!
A-BOMB: This fire's too hot!
Make a shield. We'll push through.
(CAR APPROACHING) Huh?
(ALL SCREAMING) (TIRES SCREECHING)
There is a place for the unrepentant,
and your fate lies there.
(ENGINE REVVING) (TIRES SCREECHING)
Now, wait a minute. Whoa!
(GROANING)
Let me go, you lousy creep!
They've got too much of a head start on us.
We need to find a faster way.
MAN: This'll serve you better than me.
Awesome. Get the Jump Jet.
SHE-HULK: On it.
Got an extra set of wheels around?
Well, I ain't in the business of handing out favors.
So how's about a trade?
You and your gang of bruisers flatten some cars for me,
and I'll see what I can do.
(BLOWS LANDING) HULK: The best big piles of junk
come in small packages. (GRUNTING) (CLATTERING)
(GRUNTING) Where can I toss this?
Uh, anywhere's good.
HULK: So, where's this speed queen you mentioned?
MAN: She's in the hanger.
Gets a little squirrely if you get her past 600,
but you'll get the hang of her. Noted.
(RED HULK GRUNTING)
You keep driving like a blindfolded monkey,
and you're not getting away either.
GHOST RIDER: There is no escape for you.
(GROANING) When I get out of these chains,
I'm gonna snuff you out, candlestick!
A-BOMB: Yee-ha-ha-hoo!
Think Skaar's on the scent.
(CHUCKLING)
Take over.
Skaar, free Red.
(GRUNTING) (GRUNTING)
Skaar save. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Careful where you aim that pork skewer!
(GRUNTING) (BLADE CLANGING)
Watch it, ya slash-heavy caveman!
Yah! (GROANING)
Keep it steady.
I know, I know. Sheesh!
RED HULK: (GROANING) Anytime now!
Hang in there, Red!
(GRUNTING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING) Come here, you big, red trout.
(ENGINE REVVING) (TIRES SCREECHING)
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
Don't see an engineer. Must be a drone transport train.
(ENGINE REVVING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
No! (VOICE ECHOING)
RED HULK: Bust me out, greenie!
There is no escape,
only eternal suffering for your crimes.
RED HULK: All right. Fine. I'm sorry.
Ya happy now, you cranky, skinless, Halloween reject?
What? I have to mean it?
Enough!
(GRUNTING)
(GROWLING)
Red may be a jerk and a loudmouth
and a whiny, self-absorbed blowhard...
All right, all right. We get it.
But I can't let you take him!
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING) Let me go!
Greenie!
SHE-HULK: Miss your train? Huh?
Yeah, Jen.
But you're just in time to help me catch it.
RED HULK: Where were you when I punched that talking planet in the face?
Or stopped every alien invasion from Skrulls to Frogmen?
Think I probably saved your flaming kiester
more times than you'd like to know about.
The saddest of sinners know their guilt and hold it within.
Now, you will only hold pain.
HULK: Put him down.
Yeah, I'm back.
(HISSING)
Hang on.
Cool! We should get him to haunt the Jump Jet next.
The whole front could be a skull,
and fireballs would shoot... (RECORD SCRATCHES)
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
(SHOTS FIRING)
A-BOMB: Whoa, he's going off the tracks.
Huh. That's actually kind of cool.
A-BOMB: Uh, yeah, but that's not.
Joke's on you.
'Cause I'll walk away from this wreck without a scratch.
Uh, Jen?
I'm on it.
SKAAR: Oh, Hulk, better get in here.
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
Brace for impact.
Hey, I'm starting to miss 20 minutes ago
when Ghost Rider was just an urban legend
and we were in the place only figuratively known
as Death Valley.
HULK: Wherever we are, there's no going home.
We're trapped.
Mmm. (SMACKING LIPS) Taste like burnt toast.
Skaar not smell Red.
Just to recap here, no ride, no Red,
no idea where we are. HULK: We're alive.
And we've got a lead.
A-BOMB: Ugh. Are those tracks made of bones?
That's cool, and yet, terrifying.
All right.
HULK: That is one big hole in the wherever we are.
Hulks need rollercoaster.
That's not a bad idea.
(CHAINS CLANGING) A-BOMB: Whoo-hoo!
(GROANING)
(GROANING) Burnt toast sand make Skaar sick.
Stop eating everything. Deep breaths.
You are not puking on me again.
What is your major malfunction?
You can't be this sore about Blonsky.
Your failure is that you are blind to your crimes.
Blonsky is not your only mistake.
HULK: There they are.
Jump now, or you'll miss it.
RED HULK: All right, fine.
I'm the one who clogged Hulk's toilet and I'm sorry.
Happy now?
Very, because you blamed it on me.
Rider, he made his peace.
He apologized. Isn't that enough?
No, he has not. A-BOMB: Boom!
Ow, hot, hot, hot. I forgot, ugh.
He refuses to repent.
The beast will now consume his soul.
What beast?
(GROWLING)
(ROARING)
But what about us? I didn't do anything.
Except falling on you. Which I'm sorry for.
Sort of.
(FRUSTRATED GROAN) Done talking. It's smashing time.
(GRUNTING)
Let him go or you're going into the pit too.
He is the reason you are a monster.
You would give your own life for the one who stole
your humanity. Yes.
I forgave him for that a long time ago.
RED HULK: Ah, criminy.
All right, listen up.
I pushed Banner to make that gamma bomb
that turned him into the Hulk.
It should've had a fail-safe to stop the countdown in an emergency.
It's all my fault and... And I'm sorry.
You are sincere, but it is not enough.
Ah, come on! You kidding me? What do you want?
Flowers and a box of chocolates?
(ROARING)
(CRASHING)
(ROARING CONTINUES)
Watch it!
(GRUNTING) Skaar slash many-armed thing!
(GROANING)
RED HULK: The big slug's nabbed ghostie.
Ahh! (A-BOMB SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING) Stay still.
(GRUNTING) No way, greenie. Save yourself.
I got this coming to me.
I see that now. I can't let you suffer for it.
HULK: There's only one person still suffering for your crimes, Red.
I apologized to everyone else.
Maybe it's time I forgave myself.
A-BOMB: (CHUCKLING) Finally.
All right, G.R., tell your tentacle-mouth fire monster
we're all good.
He... He can let us go now.
I do not control the beast. Our fates are sealed.
(SCREAMING)
Hulk!
(GRUNTING)
A-BOMB: So, what's the plan?
We must leave this place.
RED HULK: Oh, you think so, do you?
All the sudden, it's bad to be down here.
I think you owe us all an apology, ghostie.
GHOST RIDER: Your spirit is noble.
Your heart pure, Hulk.
HULK: Thanks, but it's the S.M.A.S.H.-ers that help me strive to do better.
RED HULK: Heh, you got that right.
So, Ghost... Uh, Mr. Rider?
Ow! Ow! Why do I keep getting...
Hey, how about coming back to Vista Verde with us
and hauntin' my wheels? Huh? That's a good idea.
You're not... You're not reacting. Is that a...
Ooh, that... Is that a no?
(WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)
(ENGINE PURRING) A-BOMB: Oh, now you're just showing off.
There is more evil to avenge.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Pfft, he could've at least called us a flaming taxi or something.
RED HULK: Listen up. Thanks for saving my butt, S.M.A.S.H.-ers.
It's about time we got some closure
between me and greenie... And with Blonsky.
(MAN SCREAMING) Help me!
Help! (GROANING)
(PANTING) Help. (WHIMPERING)
Fall down, puny human? Aw!
So our trip to the bad place wasn't all bad.
We went on a rollercoaster.
And I think Red learned that
when you do something wrong, don't make excuses or deny it.
Just own up and apologize to others and yourself.
Then try to do better next time.
(TOILET FLUSHING) RED HULK: Clogged your can again.
Don't worry, I forgave myself.
(SIGHING) Hulk out.